


Dreams of Gold

by EverTheViper



Series: Tales of a Gilded Lion [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-13 00:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3361769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverTheViper/pseuds/EverTheViper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the Battle of the Five Armies, Fíli finds himself alone with no one to turn to save Bard and Thranduil. Together the three kings unite their lands and slowly begin to discover that love is possible after such a great loss.</p><p>Verse: Tales of a Gilded Lion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pain beyond measure.

When Thorin sent himself and Kíli into the watchtowers in search of their query Fíli went blindly, not thinking of the danger he and his brother could be in. It wasn't until he heard the drums that it dawned on him that he may not make it out of this place alive. "Stop," Kíli's brow furrows when he's stopped in his tracks by his brother, "Go search the lower levels. I've got this." His brother pauses as if he means to say no but eventually nods his agreement before turning to leave. Fíli breathes a sigh of relief, if he is to die here than at least he knows Kíli will be safe, that is all he wants in the world.

His relief doesn't last long; the drums begin to get louder, the hall just ahead of him glowing bright with the light of a torch, then out of the shadow comes Azog. Fíli's heart drops into his stomach and as if time stops completely for him. The pale Orc is upon him before he can even think, one big hand fisting in his golden hair to yank him forward. This is what makes him fight, cursing in the guttural tones of his native tongue as he hacks and slashes to no avail. He has been caught, and there is not hope for escape. He will d i e, and he's never been so afraid before in all his life.

Azog drags Fíli through the winding halls of the watchtower, the dwarf barely unable to keep himself upright, his breath coming out in quick pants, his heart beating like a drum in his chest. Fear quickly turned to terror as it dawned on him that he may never see Kíli again, his beloved nadadith, nor Thorin or his mother, and that's what causes him the most pain. Suddenly he's lifted off his feet and dangled off the side of tower, sapphire eyes going wide at the sight of Thorin and the others standing down below. "Go!" He screams, voice cracking, "Run!" He will not beg for his life, not here at the end. If he is to be a martyr then so be it. He will die to save them a thousand times over. 

The next thing he feels is a searing white hot pain as the orc's blade sinks into his side, a cry wrenching itself from his throat despite his attempts to stifle it. He goes limp and then he f a l l s down, down, down to the ground, hitting solid rock with a sickening thud then everything goes b l a c k. He can't think or feel, and it's almost as though he's paralyzed. He hears a distant cry from Kíli, and though he tries to reach for him, he can't move a muscle. He weaves in and out of consciousness, fighting to keep himself awake, fighting to keep himself alive as blood seeps slowly from his wound. As he lay dying his mind wanders to his mother and the sweet things she used to whisper to him, and the promise he'd made to her. 

♔ Start of flashback. 

"You're brighter than gold and more precious than any diamond, ghizashel, my sweet boy." Fíli flushed at his mother's praise, cheeks tinted pink. Kíli was out with their uncle for day, leaving Fíli to spend much needed time with his beloved mother. "Stop it, ma." He mumbles, fiddling with the end of one of his braids. His mother was busying herself with his hair, fussing over the golden waves. "I mean it, Fíli. You're more precious than all the gold in Erebor." The blond's flush only darkened, spreading across his cheeks and to his ears. "As you know, kidhuzel, hair like yours is rare amongst dwarves, yes?" Fíli nods, continuing to fiddle with the braid as he listens to his mother. "Thrór would've seen you as a good omen, my love. A sign that our time would come once more." 

"Mama, that's silly. My hair isn't going to win back Erebor and slay a dragon." He wrinkles his nose, brow furrowing. "If my hair is so special than why did other children make fun of me? They used to whisper that I was half elf, half dwarf, and that Thorin was a fool for naming a halfbreed as his heir." Dís hisses, "Do not listen to such lies, my heart, jealousy is an ugly emotion." Fíli bows his head, twisting away from his mother. "You m u s t keep him safe, Fíli." She whispers, hands curling into fists. "He'd follow your uncle to Mordor if it meant getting his attention, you and I both know that. Keep him safe." 

❝Don't worry, ma. Kíli and I will return to you. S a f e and w h o l e.❞

♔ End of flashback 

Fíli groans and claws weakly at the dirt beneath him, his face contorted in pain. All he feels is unbearable pain, and for just a second he believes he's going to die; then he hears voices. He cries out, "Someone help me!" His voice hoarse and unrecognizable. "P-Please! I am not dead!" He begs, desperation clear in his voice, he does not want to die. He wants to see his mother, brother, and uncle again. He wants to see Thorin crowned King Under the Mountain, he wants to see Bard take his place as King of Dale. "H-Help!" He manages another garbled cry, beautiful golden hair soaked red with blood. He hopes that someone comes and soon for he fears he will not last very much longer.

He doesn't have to wait long very long. 

♔ Bard's POV

When Bard learned of Thorin's fate he took it upon himself to go up to Ravenhill to find his nephews, Fíli and Kíli. They were too late to save the black-haired archer, but had yet to find his golden-haired brother. Bard would not give up, and he thanks god he didn't. He finds the blond weak and near to unconsciousness. "Oh, Fíli." He whispers as he pulls the smaller form up onto his lap. He brushes a hand through the matted flaxen waves, careful not to hurt him anymore than he already is as he looks him over, hand running down his side only to come back red with blood. This wound worries him; he will need to see a healer and soon or he will die. "Tis but a scratch." The dwarf in his arms manages a joke, normally brilliant blue eyes dull and glazed over. Bard shushes him with a kiss on the brow. "No time for jokes." He admonishes, looking down when Fíli curls trembling hands into the front of his coat. 

"You found me." Fíli whispers, slowly losing his fight to stay awake.

"Yes, little one, I found you, and now I'm going to s a v e you."

♔ End of Bard's POV

Fíli whines softly when he's lifted off the ground and into Bard's arms. If he hadn't of been in so much pain he would've complained about the way the Man cradled him as though he were a woman or a babe, but he hadn't the strength. He needed to get away from this Mahal damned place, and the only way that will happen is if he's carried down. Bard walks at an even pace, careful not to jostle the injured dwarf, and Fíli is glad for that. He doesn't need anymore pain than he already has.

Fíli thanks his lucky stars that Bard found him.


	2. To the healing houses.

Bard didn't stop for anything or anyone, intent on getting his precious cargo to the elves as soon as he possibly can. Fíli is limp in his arms, hands weakly clinging onto the lapels of his coat, and Bard's heart breaks for him. Once he makes it down from Ravenhill he's almost immediately bombarded by worried dwarves and at one point one, the bald warrior called Dwalin even reaches for the wounded Prince, meaning to take him from Bard. The dark-haired man refuses, holding the dwarf tighter. "I've got him, thank you. I'll bring him to the elves. Thranduil has already called for tents to be set up for the wounded. I can carry him there quite easily." 

"He belongs with his people. Give him to me." Still Bard refuses, sidestepping the dwarf easily to pass him. As he walks by Dwalin speaks up once more, "His brother and uncle are de-" Bard cuts him off mid sentence with a wave of his hand, his blood running cold as he looks down at the dwarf cradled against his chest thankful that he's sleeping. "I know, I will tell him when he's in a more lucid state. Right now he needs healing. Please, allow me through." He gives a pointed look to the dwarves still closed in around them, green eyes sharp as he searches their faces. The dwarves part, whispering amongst themselves.

The man steps through the crowd, ignoring the dwarves as he goes. He has more important things to worry about then the things these dwarves whisper about him. Fíli is his highest priority at the moment. His children are already safe with Thranduil, so he need not worry himself about them. Right now saving Fíli is what matters most, and there is nothing in this world he wouldn't do. He walks with a purpose, gaining looks from elves, men, and dwarves alike. He sees Thorin's cousin, Dáin as he recalls hearing Gandalf say, but he ignores him as well. Unless it's an entirely pressing matter that requires his immediate attention he will stop for no one. 

♔ Fíli's POV

The blond lets out a weak mewl, twisting in the man holding him's arms, fingers curling into the rough fur beneath his fingertips. "Bard.." He manages a quiet rasp of the human's name, blue eyes fixed on the darkening sky above them. "W-Where's my brother? Where is Kíli?" Bard shushes him with a kiss upon his brow, shifting him in his arms. "I'm taking you to the elves, little one. Thranduil will help you, that's all you need to worry about." Fíli's brow furrows, head beginning to spin again. 

"I-I can't stay awake any longer, Bard. I can't."

"You **can** and you _must_ , little lion."

" _Everything_ hurts." He whines.

"I know, and I am **so sorry**."

Fíli lets out another whine before going lax once more, head lolling against Bard's chest, it's clear to see he's fighting exhaustion, tears swimming in crystalline eyes.

Pain beyond **measure**.

♔ End of Fíli's POV

Bard breathes a sigh of relief when the tents come into view; spurring him onward, his steps quickening, his heart soaring. "Someone help! The Prince of Erebor is gravely wounded!" He calls out, knowing the elves will hear him. Two she-elves, one dark of hair, one with hair like burnished gold come out of the tent closest to him, ushering him along with a hand at each elbow. "Come, we must hurry. He's fading, I can feel it." This makes Bard's heart ache but he doesn't falter, there is no time for that.

He carries Fíli into the tent and lays him on the cot in the back, heart breaking even more when the blond reaches for him with a soft whine. "Shh, little one, it's going to be fine." He looks up at the elves after he manages to calm the dwarf once more. "Send for Thranduil." The dark haired elf nods before leaving to find her King. The other one busies herself gathering the things she'll need. "Remove his garments so that I can get to the wound. It would be best if someone he was familiar with did that for him." Bard says nothing as he works to remove the layers of clothing covering the dwarf, hissing softly when he finally uncovers the wound, raw and red, still seeping blood steadily.

"I'll need to roll you onto your side, Fíli, can you do that?"

"Bard, please, let me sleep." He mumbles, lashes fluttering.

"You know I can't let you do that."

" **Please**." He begs, tearfully.

Bard rolls Fíli onto his side, glancing back when the tent opens and the Elven-King steps in. "Leave us." That's all it takes for both she-elves to leave without another word, Thranduil gathers the things the blond had laid out on the table. "Get behind him, Bard, you'll need to hold him down for this." The man obeys, climbing onto the cot behind the dwarf to pull him onto his lap, holding his legs down, his head buried in the crook of Bard's elbow. Thranduil settles on Fíli's other side and begins to work on cleaning the angry looking wound as gently as he can. Each little whimper and whine from the dwarfs brings pain to Bard, and he wishes that there was more he could do to ease the blond's suffering. "Shh, lion, shh, it will be over soon." Thranduil arches a delicate brow, but says nothing. The elf doesn't understand why the human feels the need to comfort the dwarf with lies. This is far from over. 

Green eyes watch every movement of the elf's hands, brow furrowing at the almost clinically detached way the elf worked, his fair face lacking all emotion. No matter how many times he's been around elves he will never get used to the way they hide their emotions. Fíli keens, tears wetting his cheeks as Thranduil begins to stitch the wound, "Be gentle!" It comes out sharper than Bard had intended it to and he immediately feels sorry about it. "... I apologize." Thranduil says nothing, continuing to work until he's finished. He bandages the wound, instructing Bard to lift the dwarf so that he can wrap the cloth around his chest. Bard does as he's told, lifting the limp form before settling him back down in his lap. "Tell him after he's rested." Bard already knows what he's talking about without him saying it aloud. 

He is **dreading** it.


	3. You must be strong, little one.

Thranduil leaves them not long after he finishes tending to Fíli's many wounds, promising to bring clean clothing for the dwarf to wear. Bard continues to hold the blond as he sleeps, his coat wrapped around Fíli to keep the chill away. The large garment makes the dwarf look smaller than he already is, and if the situation were different Bard would've found it oddly endearing. As Fíli sleeps Bard's mind wanders; how is he supposed to tell the blond that his family is dead, and that he will be king before he is ready? Neither of them are ready for the crown that awaits them.

The sound of the tent opening draws his attention, and he looks up to see his children step in. Tilda comes forward first, worry written across her sweet face. "Is he going to be okay, da?" She climbs up onto the cot and snuggles against Bard's side, little fingers idly combing through matted flaxen locks. "We should clean his hair, da. That would make him feel a little better, right?" Bard presses a kiss to the top of her head, before nodding to Bain. "Go out and tell someone to bring water for a bath." Bain smiles weakly, leaving a moment later. Sigrid settles on Bard's other side, pulling Fíli's legs on her lap. "How long has he been sleeping?"

"Maybe an hour at the most." Bard drops a kiss onto her hair as well.

"Does he know yet?"

"No, I haven't told him."

"H-Haven't told me what?" Bard stiffens, gaze dropping down the dwarf on his lap. "Nothing, little one, go back to sleep. You'll be getting a bath soon, but you can sleep for now." Fíli mewls weakly, eyelids falling shut once more. "Thank you," He whispers, "for saving me." He blinks open brilliant blue eyes again to meet Bard's warm green. "There's nothing I wouldn't do to save you, Fíli. You protected my children, I owe you a great debt." Sigrid begins to hum a soft tune, one Bard recognizes as a tune their mother used to use to lull them to sleep, his heart clenching with pain. It works to calm the dwarf and soon he's asleep once more, twitching every now and again.

"You need to tell him soon, da. The longer you keep it from him the angrier he'll be when he finds out."

"I know, my love. I will tell him when he wakes again. He's not ready yet."

The tent opens once more and this time it's two men carrying a tub and three more behind the carrying barrels of steaming water. They set everything before bowing to Bard, much to his dismay, and taking their leave. "Word has spread of their deaths, da. It won't be long before the dwarves come for him again. You have to tell him before they do." The raven-haired man sighs softly, and gently sets the dwarf down on the cot, his head on Tilda's lap, "I will. Sigrid go find and some clothes, Bain take your sister and find the redheaded she-elf, she'll need support through this." Tilda slides off the cot, gently setting Fíli's head on the pillow before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Get better soon, Fee." She whispers before scurrying after her brother, taking his hand. 

"You don't have to do this alone, da." Bard looks up at his eldest, brow knitting together. "I know. I'm sending you three away to give him privacy. Dwarves are very private folk. The less people here while he bathes the better. I can't leave him to do it alone." Sigrid leaves after watching her father work, worry written across her face. "I'll be back with clothes for him. It may take awhile to find some that will fit him." She pauses in the door of the tent, it's clear she doesn't want to leave her father alone to deal with this. She can so how much it's bothering him. "Find clothes that fit him loosely, Sigrid. The cloth can be loose as to not aggravate the wound." She nods and then finally leaves Bard to finish filling the tub.

"Fíli, wake up, little one." He shakes him gently, petting back the hair that falls across his forehead. Fíli stirs after the third shake, sapphire eyes bleary and unfocused from sleep. "Mm, lemme sleep." He mumbles, squeaking when Bard lifts him off the bed. "You have blood in your hair, little lion. It will begin to stink if we leave it." Fíli pouts childishly, squirming as Bard removes his trousers, and Bard thinks it may be the elvish medicine working its way through his system. "Fíli, behave." The dwarf goes lax in his arms, head on Bard's shoulder. "I'm not a child, ya know, I can walk on my own." 

"Shush, you. I know you can walk, I just don't trust your legs to carry you, and besides you can't climb into that tub on your own." He points to the tall metal tub, Fíli's blue gaze following his finger. The dwarf huffs, keeping anymore complaints to himself, allowing Bard to carrying him to the tub and set him down in it, hissing quietly at the heat of the water. "Is it too hot?" Bard is immediately worried, hovering over him. "It's fine, Bard. It feels wonderful." He leans back, the water covering his shoulders and neck, yellow hair floating on top, staining the water red. "Let me clean your hair."

Fíli flinches, hands flying up to gather his mass of hair. "I-I.. That's.. Dwarves only allow family or their l-lover touch their hair in such an intimate way."

"I won't tell anyone."

"I-I.. Okay." His cheeks flush red as he pulls his hands away, allowing his hair to float freely. Bard tips Fíli's head back with a hand cradling his jaw, "Close your eyes, Fíli." The dwarf obeys and Bard slowly pours the fresh water onto his hair. He grabs a bottle of Elvish bathing soaps and pours the sweet smelling liquid onto his hands. "I am sorry for this, little one, but it's all we could find." He works the liquid into the thick blond hair, massage his scalp soothingly. "It's fine, Bard, I really don't mind." 

"Duck your head under the water." Fíli obeys, popping up a second later, his hair dripping wet and golden once more. "Good lad."

"Finishing cleaning yourself. There's something I have to tell you."

Fíli tilts his head but does as he's told, stopping when Bard moves to leave. "Where are you going?" 

"I'm going to find you clothes. Sigrid should be returning soon. I shall meet her outside." He leaves before Fíli can respond, making the little blond frown at the way the man brushes him off. What has he **done**? Bard comes back ten or fifteen minutes later to find Fíli trying to climb out of the tub, hands slipping on the slick metal. "Fíli!" He barks; hurrying over to lift the dwarf out of the tub, wrapping him up in a makeshift towel. "You should've waited for me." 

"I'm not a child, Bard."

"I know that but you are injured, and you mustn't aggravate it further. Now, dry yourself. I trust you can dress yourself." He sets him down on the cot and turns away to give him privacy, the only sound in the tent is the soft rustling of clothing, and Fíli's gentle breathing. "I'm done." The man turns back to the dwarf, a grim look on his face. "What is it, Bard? Please tell me." The human drops to his knees in front of the dwarf and takes his hands. The look on his face is what worries Fíli the most. 

"I am so sorry, Fíli." He squeezes the smaller hands, eyes downcast.

"Bard, why are you sorry? You've done nothing wrong." A thousand things race through the dwarf's head and none of them are good.

"They're dead, little one. Your uncle and brother didn't make it."

Fíli's heart drops into his stomach, tears springing up in crystalline eyes. "No! No! You're lying!" He shrieks, pulling his hands to free them from Bard's grip but the man will not let him go. "Let me go! You're **lying**! I sent Kíli away! I told them to run!" The blond keens, tears falling down his cheeks, "B-Bard, p-please tell me it isn't true. Bard, please!"

"You must be **strong** , little one. You will be king, and your people need you."

"I don't want to be king! I want my brother!"

"He is **dead** , and you are alive, and you **must** go on. The world stops for no one."

Fíli goes limp, sobs wracking his frame, but Bard does not let him fall. He catches the dwarf and pulls him down onto the ground with him, cradling the smaller form in his lap. "Shh, little one." He coos, between kisses to his forehead, one hand comb through the dwarf's damp hair. "I've got you, Fíli, and I will never let you go."

As long as they have each other they will be **okay**.


	4. I heard them calling in the distance.

Fíli cries until he can't cry anymore, blue eyes rimmed with red making them look even brighter and for a moment Bard is rendered speechless. Fíli is beautiful; the dwarf's hair is blond, and bright like the sun. Golden like the treasure that filled Erebor's halls. He shakes his head to banish these thoughts from his mind. Bard wraps a hand around the back of Fíli's skull to pull him closer, lips pressing a kiss to his temple. "Shh, breathe, Fíli, you need to breathe." He coos, hands rubbing the blond's back soothingly. "D-Don't leave me, Bard, please. I don't want to be alone." His words send a spike of pain through Bard's heart, his grip on the dwarf tightening. In that moment he vows to never stray from the little king's side. He looks up to see Thranduil step into the tent, a tray of food in his hands.

"He knows." Bard mouths, watching as the elf's brow creases with something like worry before his features smooth out once more. "The sooner he found out the better. It wouldn't do to hide it from him." Thranduil turns to face them, frowning. "You should not have him on the ground, Bard." Thranduil moves over to them gracefully, setting the tray aside before he bends to scoop up the dwarf. "He needs to be resting on a bed, not the ground." He admonishes, laying Fíli down gently. He settles down at his side, and wipes away the tears that stain the dwarf's cheeks. "You must be strong, little one. Dry your eyes." Fíli sniffles, hands wrapping around the elf's wrists. "It hurts, Thranduil." The elf glances over to Bard briefly before turning his gaze back onto Fíli. "I know how much it hurts, but it gets better with time, I promise you that." The blond turns his head towards Bard, reaching out for him. "Don't leave me, please, either of you." Thranduil tenses, pulling away slightly to sit at the dwarf's side. 

"Can you sit up? I brought you food." The elf gestures to the tray at the end of the cot. Fíli nods, struggling to sit up on his own. When Thranduil makes no move to help him Bard comes forward, sliding to sit behind the dwarf. "Lean back against my chest, little one." Fíli flushes, but does as he's told reaching for the food. "Thank you for bringing this for me." Thranduil reaches for the tray, setting it gently on Fíli's lap. "I knew you'd be hungry, little one. You fought bravely today." Bard commends Thranduil on his attempts to be kind, his lips forming a smile. He rests his chin atop Fíli's head, fingers playing with the ends of the dwarf's golden hair. 

Fíli eats quietly, so hungry that he even eats the green food that the elf put on the plate for him. "A dwarf eating green food? I never thought I'd see the day." Bard kisses the top of Fíli's head, "How are you feeling?" The raven-haired man cards his fingers through the soft hair to keep it from tangling. "We'll need to braid your hair again, little lion, so that it doesn't get tangled while you sleep." He separates it into sections, ignoring the way Thranduil looks at him as he begins to braid the dwarf's hair. He wonders if Thranduil knows of Dwarven customs; he hopes that he doesn't. He doesn't wish for this to be anymore odd than it already is.

"Why do you call me that?" He murmurs, gaze staying fixed on the food in his lap. "Little lion, I mean."

"Do you not like it?"

"No, it doesn't bother me. Ma used to call me her little lion when I was a boy."

"I am sorry. I did not know."

"My mother is still living. She was left behind in Ered Luin."

Thranduil, much to Bard's surprise, lingers in the tent, sits listening to them talk amongst themselves for several minutes. "How are you liking the food?" Fíli peeks up at him, head tilted to the side. "It's very good, thank you." The dwarf appreciates Thranduil and Bard's attempts to keep his mind off of what he's learned, but no matter how hard they try he can't shake it. "Where are the bodies?" He says after a moment; he feels Bard stiffen behind him, the hands braiding his hair stalling in their work for a second before he continues. He can see the brief play of emotions across the elf's otherwise emotionless face, and that's what worries him the most. "They're being kept in a tent not far from here." Is the elf's eventual response.

"I want to see them." Thranduil looks up at this, brow knitting together.

"Fíli.." Bard stops braiding, dark green eyes meeting Thranduil's sharp blue. "You don't have to do this right now."

"Bard, no, I need to see them."

"Finish your food, little one, we'll take you to them after you've eaten." The dwarf looks up a Thranduil and nods before turning back to his food 

Fíli has never finished food that fast before in all his life. Once he's done he sets the tray aside and pushes the sheet from off his legs. "I'm ready." Thranduil and Bard share a look over his head, blue meeting green once again before Bard looks away and back down to Fíli. "Do you think you'll be able to walk?" The blond nods, sliding to the end of the bed. Thranduil rises to his feet first, standing close in case Fíli should fall. The dwarf wobbles unsteadily, a sharp pain shooting up his side as he puts too much pressure on his inured side. Bard is at his side in an instant, steadying him with a gentle hand on his arm. "Do not over exert yourself, little one." Fíli shifts his weight onto his good leg, leaning into Bard. "I must walk out of this tent on my own, I can seem weak at a time like this, right?" He looks up at them both, blue eyes shining with unshed tears. "No one will judge you for your grief." Fíli looks to Thranduil, lips twisting as he struggles to hold back the urge to cry. "Be as strong as a mountain, little one. Be as strong as steel." Fíli blinks back tears, hands balled up into fight fists. His soul is made of steel. He is made of gilded steel. Steel bends with enough pressure. 

"I'm ready."

"Then let us go."

Bard leads him with a hand between his shoulder blades, Thranduil standing tall and steadfast at his other side. The elf opens the tent and they step through and Fíli is immediately met with the sight of so many wounded and so many dead and for a moment he falters, too blue eyes going wide. Bard nudges him gently to get him moving. "Be brave, little one. I am here." 

Fíli smiles weakly and begins to walk once more, stepping out onto the battered, dead grass beneath his feet, he turns his head towards the mountain, towards Erebor, and all he sees is death, and it's almost overwhelming. Countless men, elves, and dwarves are dead for this mountain, and the riches hoarded in its endless halls. Was it really worth it? Was this mountain worth all of these lives lost? Was it worth the life of his brother, his beloved nadadith?

No, it was not. 

As they walked through the maze of tents they ran into dwarves and elves along the way, and the occasional man all of them asking questions, all of them wanting advice from their kings. Fíli is not ready for this. He does not want this. 'Take it from me,' he wants to scream, 'take this burden away from me, and bury it before it buries me.' Thranduil stays behind to speak to Dáin, much to his cousin's dismay, and Bard steers him along toward the tent where his uncle and brother's bodies lay. "Are you ready?" Those three words are spoken in almost a whisper but to Fíli they're loud and deafening. "... Y-Yes." He curses himself for the way his voice shakes.

Fíli opens the tent himself and steps inside, the sob he'd been holding in escaping finally at the sight of his brother laying pale and cold upon a cot. His dark hair is dirty and matted, the fine clothes he'd been wearing torn and bloodstained. The blond stumbles over to his side, body shuddering with the force of his sobs. He takes his brother's hands in his and kisses the backs of them, praying to Aulë in the forges above that his brother is kept safe until they are reunited. Bard says nothing, gaze on the ground to allow the dwarf his privacy. Grief is terrible, grief is suffering in its worst form. The sound of Fíli's sobs causes him great pain, and though he wishes to comfort him, it is not his place to intrude.

It takes Fíli a long time to turn to Thorin, his heart breaking even more. His uncle is battered and bruised, even worse than Kíli. Yet he looks like he's finally at peace. The blond brushes the hair away from his face, hands trembling as he does it. "Bard, why did they have to die while I survived?" The man looks up, green eyes fixed on the dwarf. "I don't know, little lion. Things happen for a reason so they say." Fíli kisses his uncle's temple before stepping back from the body and turning to face Bard his arms outstretched to him. The man knows what he wants without him saying it aloud, and in a flash he's lifting the dwarf off his feet, holding him close to his chest, careful of the wound on his side. 

"Don't leave me alone in this world."

Those seven words whispered to him wound Bard more deeply than any sword ever could.

"Never."


	5. With time all wounds will heal.

♔

❝I'll share in your suffering.❞

Bard carries the crying dwarf out of the tent and away from the source of his pain, desperate to put as much space as possible between Fíli and the bodies of his uncle and brother. He brushes past elves and men and dwarves alike, ignoring the whispering that follows them. Ahead of them he catches sight of the dwarf, Bofur, funny hat still perched atop his head. The dwarf turns and catches sight of them, relief flooding his face, he breaks away from the group to run to them, dark eyes giving Fíli a quick once over. "Ya took him t' see them, didn't ya? I coulda told ya tha' wouldn't go so well." Bard can't stop the glare, lip curling back. He can still feel Fíli's tears wetting his neck, one big hand raising to pet the dwarf's hair soothingly. "He insisted on it, master dwarf, there is nothing I can do to stop him from seeing his kin, whether they're living or dead." 

"Aye, tha's true. Ya shouldn't be carrying him, doesn't look so good. People are starin'." 

"I don't care what they think. Let them stare." He barks, moving past the dwarf. "Now, if you'd excuse me, master Bofur, I'd like to get him back to his tent." Bofur sighs, brow pulling together. "Ya can't keep him cooped up in tha' tent forever, Bard. He's go' t' come out sometime." The dark haired man holds the dwarf tighter still, the hand in his golden hair never stilling in its slow petting. "I will keep him there for as long as it takes. He is in no state to lead anyone right now. Let him heal, let him grieve in peace. He deserves that much." Bofur smiles sadly, gaze dropping to the ground. "Aye, he does. The lad suffered a great loss. I was told t' tell ya tha' your kiddies brought the she-elf t' Fíli's tent. She's bad off. Be prepared for it."

"Come, Bard. He must rest now." The man looks ahead at the sound of his name, green eyes finding Thranduil's sharp blue. In his arms Fíli stirs with a little sniffle, hands clutching his shoulders tightly. The man turns his head slightly to meet watery sapphire eyes. "Where is Thranduil?" 

"He's just ahead of us, little one. Do you want him?" Fíli makes a little noise against his neck as he shifts the dwarf in his arms, one arm beneath his legs, the other bracing his shoulders to hold Fíli against him. He crosses the distance to Thranduil in a few short strides, nodding in greeting. "He wants you."

Bard can't help the amusement he feels at the way the elf blinks several times before nodding his head stiffly. "Give him to me." The man didn't expect the elf to agree to it, so he wasn't prepared for it. "... You're serious." Fíli wriggles around and reaches out to Thranduil, "Yes, I'm quite serious." He sniffs, taking the little blond from Bard's arms, holding him as though he weighs nothing. The man shrugs leading Thranduil through the tents with a hand on his elbow. "This will cause a scandal, Thranduil, you do realize that?" He speaks just loud enough to be heard by Thranduil and Fíli. "You're carrying their future king as though he's a child. They won't like it." 

Bard swears on everything he loves that Thranduil rolled his eyes, "I do not care for what these dwarves think of me or my intentions with Fíli. What matters right now is him, and only him." 

"And what of the redhead?"

"She must choose her own path."

"You choose to abandon her but you will help this dwarf, why?" Thranduil turns his steel eyes on Bard, "My reasons are my own, Bard." Fíli turns his head to face Bard, giving a weak little smile. "I am thankful for both of you. No matter what reasons you have for helping me." The human smiles warmly and raises a hand to cup the dwarf's cheek, thumb brushing across his cheekbone. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, little one. You will always have my support." Fíli smiles, nuzzling into the man's hand, his eyes falling shut. "Sleepy." He mumbles, pulling away from Bard's hand to bury his face against Thranduil's neck. 

"Then we shall get you back to your tent, little one." Thranduil smiles fondly, beginning to walk once more, Bard right behind him. The dwarves around them make no move to stop them but Bard can see how much they want to. The elf and the man pass through the tents with little interruption this time, the dwarf slumbering, safe in Thranduil's protective embrace. Bard opens the tent and allows Thranduil to walk through before following him in. Inside are his children huddled around the curled up form of the red haired she-elf, whispering worriedly amongst themselves. Tilda is laying next to Tauriel, the elf's head on her lap. The little girl looks up, sweet face twisted with worry. "She won't eat, da, and she hasn't said two words to us." Bard's heart twists at the pain he hears in his youngest's voice.

"She's grieving, little one. She has suffered a great loss." Bard glances to Thranduil and to his surprise he sees sympathy in his clear blue gaze. The elf strides over to the cot and lays Fíli at Tauriel's side, covering the still sleeping dwarf with the thin sheet, tucking him in with a kiss on his forehead. "Let them rest. They both need it." Fíli whines softly at the loss of Thranduil's warmth, stirring restlessly in his sleep. Tilda shushes him, petting a hand through his thick hair, soothing him within moments. His daughter had always had a way of bringing comfort to injured animals, and it seemed that gift extended to grieving dwarves and heartsick elves.

"Can I stay with them?" 

"I think that would be good for them, so yes, you may stay with them." The elf gives the child a rare, kind smile. "Would you like to lay down?" Tilda nods and shifts Tauriel's head out of her lap before wiggling to lay between Fíli and the she-elf, cuddling against Tauriel's back. "Can you cover us, Siggy?" Sigrid smiles weakly, pulling the sheet up over them before pressing a kiss to her sister's forehead, "There you go, Tilly." Bard and Thranduil step away from the cot, allowing the children to watch over Tauriel and Fíli for the moment. 

"She's welcome to stay with us for as long as she needs to. She will not have to suffer alone."

"If she wishes to stay with you in Dale, I will not stop her."

Movement on the bed catches Bard's eye and he and Thranduil turn to see Tauriel turn and wrap her arms around Tilda, hands curling around Fíli's hands to cling to him, the dwarf in turn curls closer to Tilda keeping the child sandwiched between their bodies. "You are not alone, Tauriel. I understand your pain quite keenly." The blond whispers, voice thick with emotion, the elf gives a weak smile before responding, "Thank you, Fíli. You lost your brother, and I lost my heart." Fíli squeezes her hands, "Thank you for being there for him when he passed, and for loving him for the short time that you had together." 

Thranduil and Bard share a look, their lips set in a grim line. They both know that the road to recovery for the she-elf and the little dwarf will be a long and harrowing experience but they plan to be there for them as much as they are allowed. Tauriel and Fíli will not have to suffer alone. They will have support from Thranduil and Bard and his children.

They will never be alone.


	6. I'll carry you away from war.

♔

In the days following what is now known as the Battle of Five Armies Dáin takes up the tasks of clearing as much of the rubble from Erebor's halls as they can. They are not alone as more and more dwarves and men begin coming to see if what they've been hearing is true. Erebor and Dale have been reclaimed, and the Kings have come to take up their crowns once more, and return life to this desolate place. Fíli's wound is slow to heal, his mental scars take even longer. The blond keeps at Bard's side through most of it, one hand always curled into the man's coat to keep him close. He's come to rely on the man more than the dwarf lords like, but he cares not for what they think of him. The funeral for Thorin and Kíli is days from now, and Fíli is not ready. Balin is handling the preparations for it, setting aside his own grief to shield Fíli from the pain that comes with planning to lay his brother and uncle to rest. 

Thranduil had left a few days ago much to Fíli's distress but he'd promised to be back for the funeral, he sealed the promise with a gentle kiss to Fíli's cheek and a hand sliding over the dwarf's newly styled braids. The prince smile fondly at the memory. Bard had found a relatively undamaged home in Dale for Fíli and the children to stay in. The day before Thranduil left for Mirkwood, he and Fíli sat up talking most of the night, Fíli nestled down in his lap, the elf's outer robes wrapped around the blond's smaller frame.

♔ Start of flashback.

"Thranduil?" Fíli's voice is soft, almost shy and it makes Thranduil arch one dark brow. "Yes, little one?" He murmurs, carding his fingers through the dwarf's thick golden locks. He'll never say it aloud, not yet anyway, but he truly adores Fíli's hair. His beautiful, golden hair. He knew for a fact that hair like this is most unusual among dwarves, and to be born with hair so golden is of the highest honor, a good omen amongst Durin's folk. "Would you braid my hair?" Thranduil stiffens for a moment before relaxing. He knew how dwarves were about their hair, braiding is an honor reserved for kin or a loved one. "Are you sure, little lion?" 

"I understand that hair braiding is very... Intimate to your kind." Fíli's cheeks flush red, teeth worrying his lower lip nervously. "I-I.. I can get Bard to do it, I mean.. I understand if you don't wa-"

Thranduil cuts him off mid stream with a kiss to the top of his head and hands fast unraveling the hair already braided. "I would love to braid your hair, Fíli." The use of his name makes Fíli's cheeks burn hotter, bright blue eyes dropping to his lap. "Thank you." He whispers, willing away the embarrassing blush staining his cheeks. "I hope you don't mind if I change the style, little lion." Fíli hums in response, the hand combing through his hair soothing him. "I trust you." He says finally, patting Thranduil's thigh lightly. 

The Elven-King smiles one of those rare smiles that almost always sends Fíli's heart a-fluttering. A hand on his chin has Fíli's head turning to the side, blue eyes flickering over to Thranduil. "Hold still, little one." He brushes a finger down the line of Fíli's jaw before releasing his chin. This action causes the crown prince's blush to return full force, nose wrinkling in a way Thranduil finds oddly adorable. Fíli's eyes fall shut as Thranduil begins the first braid just above his ear. The elf works quickly, clasping the braid off at the end with a bead. "I've added some of my own beads to your collection and some from Bard, I hope you don't mind, little one. We had them made especially for you."

"Really? I-I.. Thank you, Thranduil, I appreciate the gesture." 

"Only the best for our little lion." 

Nimble fingers start on the second braid repeating the same thing he did with the first. Fíli swears he hears the elf humming as he works. "There, turn your head to the other side for me." Fíli does as he's told, one hand coming up to touch the new braids. It's different, he's never braided his hair so close to the scalp, but he likes it even if he hasn't seen it yet. Thranduil makes quick work of the other two braids, hand cupping Fíli's chin once more to turn his face away. "Just one more, this one will keep the hair away from your face." 

Thranduil gathers the hair left over and twists it into three thick sections of hair before braiding them together, weaving beads through the hair as he goes, he braids until he has no hair left, finishing it off with a large clasp set with one of the gleaming white gems he so loved. "I'm leaving for Mirkwood in the morning, little one. I promise I'll be back for the funeral, and for the coronations. I wouldn't miss those for anything in the world." Fíli twists in Thranduil's lap, a soft whine leaving his lips. "I know, but I do not want you to go. I've become.. attached to you."

"And I you." Long fingers catch Fíli's chin again before Thranduil leans in to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips. "I will be back before you know it, Fíli. Do not fret." Fíli's cheeks flush bright red, fingers coming up to touch the spot Thranduil kissed, a shy little smile curling up his lips. "I'll send Bard after you if you don't come back." He takes Thranduil's face in his hands, thumb brushing across the elf's high cheekbones. "You and Bard have made the last fews days bearable for me, so I'd like to thank you for that, for not abandoning me." 

"I told you many times before that I will never turn my back on you, Fíli."

The sound of the door opening draws their attention and they both look to see Bard step in. "Aye, and neither will I." The man crosses the room in a few steps before settling on the sage of the bed to pull off his boots. "I missed you both today. Felt odd not having my golden shadow at my side." Fíli laughs, wrinkling his nose at Bard. "Sorry to disappoint you." The man chuckles, dark eyes meeting Thranduil's sharp blue for a moment before he steals a sweet kiss from the dwarf between them. "I forgive you, little one." He whispers in the space between their lips. Fíli keeps one hand curled in Thranduil's robes, keeping them around him, the other pulls Bard closer to him. "I'm sleepy, lay with me, please?"

"Of course, little one." Bard looks up to Thranduil again as if asking permission to move Fíli from his lap, the elf gives a nod of his head. Bard grins and scoops Fíli up, laying back with the dwarf on his chest, "Sleep, little one." He coos, finally noticing the changes made to his hair. "This is new, Fíli, I like it." His grin widens when he notices one of the beads he'd made hiding amongst the golden braids. "Thranduil did a very nice job."

Fíli hums sleepily, wiggling so that he's nestled in the space between Bard's side and Thranduil's thigh, content being close to them both as he drifts off. 

♔ End of flashback.

"What are you thinking about, little one?" Bard's voice startles him from his reverie, clear blue eyes snapping up to meet the man's forest green gaze. "The night before Thranduil left." He didn't need to lie to Bard, there were no secrets between them. "I miss him too, Fíli. Come here." Bard beckons the dwarf to him with a wave of his hand, Fíli crawls to Bard and climbs up into his lap, back against the man's chest. Bard wraps his arms around Fíli's waist and sets his chin on the dwarf's shoulder. "Are you ready, little one?" He speaks softly, one hand rubbing Fíli stomach soothingly. "For the funeral, no?" Fíli curses himself for the way his voice shakes, "I am not. I'm terrified of the very thought of it." 

"Shh, little one, don't upset yourself. You must be brave and strong, Fíli, Thranduil and I will be there for you every step of the way."

Fíli turns to face Bard, hands coming up to hold the man's face, thumbs tracing the line of his cheekbones. "Mahal blessed me when he led me to you, Bard." He brushes a kiss across Bard's lips, hands dropping to find the man's, intertwining their fingers. "Did he?" The man pushes his weight forward, easily pinning the dwarf to the bed with his hands above his head. "You, my golden one, are the blessing." He's careful to keep most of his weight off the smaller frame beneath him, not wanting to hurt him.

"How do you say blessing in your native tongue, little one?"

"Muhudel."

"Well, that is what you are to me, Fíli. My muhudel. You and my children."

Fíli turns his face into the sheets to hide the blush that Bard inspired, hands squeezing the man's hands gently. "You flatter me, Bard." The King of Dale takes the dwarf's chin between his fingers and forced him to look at him again. "Only the best for you, my lion." The blond doesn't try and look away, he holds the intense gaze of the man above him. It takes him a second to find his voice again, "Thranduil said the same thing before he left."

"Well, then it must be true."

"Can I tell something, Bard?" Bard nods, loosening his hold on the dwarf beneath him. "You can tell me anything, little one, you know that."

"When I'm with you, and with Thranduil, the pain lessens to a dull ache, like, it doesn't hurt quite as much as it did before you walked in or he walked in." 

"That is a good, yes?"

"Aye, it's a good thing, Bard. Can I ask you another question?" Bard gives a nod in response, shifting to lay at Fíli's side. "Do you two know what giving me these beads mean?" Bard chuckles, touching one of the silver beads he'd made for the dwarf. The stone is an emerald of the bright green, a gem from his beloved mother. "Aye, I know, Thranduil knows. Didn't you see the necklace I gave him? I'm sure he'll come back with a gift for you, little one, and I will have another for you."

"That's not necessary, Bard, I don't need any gifts."

"But isn't that what you courting is? The giving and receiving of gifts to show affection?"

"I-I.. Well.." He stumbles over his words, floundering to find something, anything to say. "I-I've never been courted before, not once. I am ugly." He manages, hands flying up to cover his cheeks. "No one wanted me 'cause of my stupid yellow hair."

Bard pulls Fíli's hands away from his face, "Look at me." He barks, drawing that crystal blue gaze instantly. "You are not ugly, you're hair is not stupid, it is beautiful, just like you, and whoever shunned you is a moron." Fíli squeaks uncharacteristically, a big goofy grin curling up his lips before he moves forward quickly to press his lips to Bard's in a messy kiss. "I accept your advances, my lord, wholeheartedly." The man laughs, burying his hands in Fíli's hair, fingers finding the beads he'd left there. "What will your people say about this?"

"I don't care what they say. I want to be happy, Bard, and you make me happy, Thranduil makes me happy, and so do the children. Don't I deserve to be happy?" Bard rests his forehead against Fíli's, nuzzling their noses together affectionately. "Aye, you deserve all the happiness in the world, Fíli. We could make you happy, if you let us."

"I already told you I accept your advances, Bard. We must take this slowly things, I hope you understand."

"We can take this as slowly as you like, muhudel. There is no rush."

A horn sounding in the distance draws both of their attention from the conversation they're having, Fíli's sapphire eyes widening. "He's back!" He steals a little kiss from Bard before scrambling off the bed to begin gathering up his things. "We need to hurry!" He chirps, pulling on his boots, stopping to lace them up as quickly as he can. "Calm yourself, little one. You mustn't aggravate your wound, it's not yet fully healed."

"I know, I know, I'm just very excited to see him once more. Stop and listen, Bard. Don't you hear your children?" The dwarf grins broadly, crossing the space between himself and Bard, stopping before the taller man to adjust his jacket. "Now, kiss me then we shall go downstairs to greet our fellow king." Bard chuckles but does as he's requested, instead of bending he crouches down to Fíli's level and presses their lips together in a fleeting kiss, over before it really started. "Come, little one, we mustn't be late." 

Bard leads the dwarf from the room with a hand between his shoulder blades, steering him down the hall and to the stairs. "Careful on the stairs, Fíli." 

"I know, Bard, you don't have to worry so much, I'll be fine." He takes the stairs slowly, knowing how steep they are already. "All I do is worry for you, little lion."

"Then you will be pleased to know that I am not as reckless as you think I am, my lord." Bard wrinkles his nose at the title, swatting Fíli's shoulder gently. "Behave yourself." When Fíli steps out into the hall he's immediately accosted by Tilda, clinging to Tauriel's hand tightly. "Thranduil is back! Come, da, come Fíli! We have to go meet him!" She tugs Tauriel along behind her, the she-elf seemed to be getting better, but she had her days just as Fíli had is. Tilda kept her busy for the most part, and her mind off the pain that threatened to consume them both without the help of those around them to keep their minds clear and their hearts happy.

Stepped out on the street behind Tilda and Tauriel with Bard, Bain, and Sigrid just behind him. Sigrid took her usual place at his side, her arm hooked with his. "Ready?" She whispers, sounding just as excited as he was. They'd all gotten attached to the Elven-King in the days he'd spent with them before he'd left for Mirkwood. Seeing him go had left the children just as distressed at Fíli himself was. They found Thranduil at the gates of Dale a few streets from where they'd been taking up residence while the city is being cleared of debris. 

"Welcome back to Dale, King Thranduil." Bard nods in greeting, nudging Fíli to do the same. "Welcome back." Fíli can't show the elf affection with so many people watching, no matter how much he wants to run and throw his arms around Thranduil's waist, he restrains himself, his golden head held high. He can feel eyes on him, he knows they can see the new beads clear as day woven into his hair. Some with gems brilliant and green and others with gems of pure starlight. He finds he doesn't care so much what they think. He's given up everything for this moment, why should he have to give this up too? He'll renounce the throne if he has to, if it means he can be at their side.

Bard raises a hand to touch one of his beads briefly, dark green eyes meeting Dáin's fierce brown briefly as if challenging the dwarf to say something on what he'd witness. The man looks away only after Dáin does meeting Thranduil's sharp eyes. "My lord Thranduil, shall we go someplace else. We have much to talk about. As you know the funerals for Thorin Oakenshield and Kíli will take place tomorrow and then mine and Fíli's coronations will follow in the days to come."

"I and my people offer our condolences to the young King Under the Mountain." Fíli gives a weak smile, "Thank you, my lord. Your kindness is much appreciated. Shall we move along?" He glances around nervously, turning slowly to go back the way they came, Bard following suit his hand still planted firmly in the small of Fíli's back. Thranduil crosses the distance between them with a few short strides, stepping up to walk at Fíli's other side, keeping Sigrid between them. The elf lays a hand on the young woman's shoulder, steering her away from Fíli and her father to speak to her. "How has he been?" Sigrid looks up at Thranduil and then over at Fíli before answering. "He's been good. Da keeps him pretty active so he doesn't really have much time to think about his loss. He has his days though, mornings where he refuses to get up and face the day."

"Fíli." The dwarf turns at the sound of his name, head tilting curiously. From  
Thranduil pulls a silver circlet from within his robes. He allows Fíli a moment to study it. It's set with one big, gleaming diamond with chains hanging on either side of it. "I had it made for you, Fíli, every Prince should have one of these to wear before he receives his crown. The elf crosses the space between them, nodding for Fíli to kneel before him, the dwarf drops to his knees slowly, golden head bowed. He can feel all eyes on him but he shows no fear, no sign that he is nervous. Thranduil sets the circlet atop his head, fixing the chains to hang just so on his hair. "Rise, little king, rise and lead your people with the heart of a lion. You have my support in all that you do." He whispers just loud enough for Fíli to hear. Then he pulls another circlet from his robes, this one similar in design to the one meant for Fíli but made of a darker silver and set with a deep green stone and lacking the chains Fíli's had. 

He repeats the same thing he did with Fíli, stopping to whisper something that Fíli can't hear to Bard, a soft smile curling up his lips. The elf seems to show more emotion towards them than to others around him. "These will do until you receive your true crowns, yes?"

"Aye they will." Bard holds his hands out for them, smiling when both dwarf and elf come forward and each takes one of his hands. The walk back to the little house is uneventful and full of quiet chatters amongst the three kings, a she-elf, and three children.

This is what their family is now.


	7. This is gospel for the fallen ones.

♔

Bard stepped forward with the Arkenstone heavy in his hand. The soon to be King of Dale looked haggard and worn thin. The days since the battle of the five armies had been trying for him. The dark haired man held the jewel out to Fíli, and it took a moment for the dwarf to realise that Bard was trying to give it to him. The King’s Jewel. The Arkenstone. A curse upon his people. Fíli shook his head, the chains hanging from his circlet jingling delicately with the movement, and waves the brilliant stone away from himself. "Take it away from me."   
"I don’t w a n t it." He whispers, oceanic eyes finding forest green.

Sounds of shock came from all around the golden Prince. "Fíli wha —" He cuts Dáin off with a wave of his hand, brilliant sapphire eyes staying fixed on Bard holding the intense green he knew so well. "Bury it with Thorin, Bard, I want no part of the madness that jewel can bring." Bard bowed his head respectfully, brought the stone up and held it against his heart. "I can think of no better place for it, Fíli." In that moment, Bard wishes he could openly kiss Fíli without causing a scandal. The blond has come a long way from the broken form he'd found atop Ravenhill six days ago.

King Thranduil of Mirkwood gave the little king a soft sort of smile, his clear blue eyes flickering between Fíli and his flame-haired cousin. "That is a most wise decision, Fíli. We all know the effect that jewel has had on kings in the past, the effect that it had on your late uncle." The blond's face twists in pain for a moment before he schools his features into a mask of neutrality. "Aye, I know." He reaches out and boldly takes Thranduil's offered hand with Dáin and the other lords looking on in confused disbelief. Fíli can almost hear what they're saying in their minds.

A horn sounding deep in the mountain brings them all to attention, heads turning in the direction of the opening door. Ori steps into the room, and clears his throat, hands fiddling with his sleeves nervously, big brown eyes rimmed with red are lowered to the ground. It's obvious he'd been crying, and Fíli's heart yearns to go and. Comfort his younger cousin.

"It's t i m e." He manages, voice thick with emotion.

♔

The slow march down to the tombs is nearly excruciating for Fíli, and it takes everything in him to not turn and run back to his rooms, to lock himself away until this is all over. Bard and Thranduil stand tall and silent at his sides, their towering presence a comfort to the little King, keeping him from straying from his path. He thanks Mahal for their presence in his life in these dark days. He wobbles for a half a second on a loose stone beneath his feet, but a hand on his shoulder quickly steadies him, he doesn't have to look up to know it's Bard. The man has been a comfort to him since losing his brother and uncle. He glances behind them to Bain and Sigrid walking with Tilda's between them and Tauriel behind them. The she-elf looks near to tears, and just as on edge as Fíli himself feels. At least he knows if he runs he won't be alone.

Bard and Thranduil must notice the way he trembles because a second later he hears, "Be calm, golden one, we are here for you." That's Thranduil, his voice soft and soothing, "You are not alone in this." That's Bard, his voice like slow dripping honey. Their words give him the strength to walk on, strength he wouldn't have otherwise had without their support, blue eyes so like his late father's fixed ahead of him. He can do this. 

He m u s t do this.

The ending of the path makes Fíli's heart race rabbit fast in his chest. He reels back as if burned, and runs back into the hall to hide, shaking his head rapidly. "No, no, I'm not /ready/." Bard and Thranduil share a look over his head and a nod from Thranduil has Bard turning to catch Fíli around the waist to drag him back against his chest, one big hand over Fíli's heart. He turns the dwarf and drops to one knee before him. "Fíli, stop, look at me!" He takes the dwarf's face in his hands, thumbs brushing across high cheekbones to wipe the few stray tears that escape those brilliant eyes of his. "You can do this, I know you can. You have to believe in yourself, little one. You're braver than you think." Fíli covers the hands on his cheeks with his own, teeth worrying his bottom lip. "I can't." His voice trembles, hands shaking as the clutch Bard's. "You can and you must. Do it for your brother, for you uncle, for their memory."

For them, for their m e m o r y.

The blond nods shakily before pulling away to compose himself once more. At his side Thranduil bends to fix the circlet round his brow, a rare kind smile on his fair face. "Be brave, little lion, and everything will be fine. Bard and I will be here through it all, as well as your kin." Fíli nods once more and looks around at the dwarves gathered around him, he can see concern in some of their eyes and pity in others. He doesn't want their pity nor does he need it. "I'm ready." They take the last few steps into the hall, blue eyes taking in all of the people gathered waiting and then finally falling on the two marble slabs where his uncle and brother lay. 

The crowd parts to allow him through and in it he sees Men and Elves and Dwarves, all here to mourn the loss of what would've been a great king and his loyal, vibrant nephew. Fíli bites back the swell of emotions as he descends the stairs leading down to Kíli and Thorin. 

Thranduil waves a hand and a group of elves come down after them, gathering to stand round the marble slabs, their arms tucked behind their backs. Fíli raises a brow and glances up at the Elven-King. "You'll see, little one." He speaks just loud enough to be heard by Bard and Fíli, that little smile returning to curl up his thin lips. Fíli turns his gaze back ahead of him, a hand resting between his shoulder blades keeps him moving forward, leading him to stand between his uncle and brother's resting place. His fellow kings stand just behind him, with Dáin and the other dwarves standing around them, encircling their King. 

Fíli stood tall and proud at the head of the room, his shoulders squared back, his brother and uncle's bodies laid out on two marble slabs on either side of the golden King. He'd yet to be crowned, so in place of a crown he wore a simple silver circlet gifted to him by the Elven-King. He'll never forget the moment Thranduil laid the jewelry atop his golden head nor the words the Elven-King whispered to him. "Rise, little King, rise and lead your people with the heart of a lion. You have my support in all that you do."

Kíli was the first to be laid to rest in his tomb, raven hair held in braids clasped with beads made by Fíli's own hand, a crown lays on his chest, along with his sword and his bow next to him. The she-elf, Tauriel, comes forward to pay her respect, forest green eyes glassy with tears left unshed. Fíli understands her pain quite keenly, and for a moment their eyes meet. He holds her gaze for only a few minutes before he looks away again, leaving her to her grief. He looks back up in time to see her lay an arrow on Kíli's chest, and a kiss open his brow. Kíli's tomb is sealed by Bofur and Dori both fighting to hold back tears as they work. 

Next is Thorin. The fallen King's ebony hair is braided back and woven with beads of silver set with deep blue stones. Dwalin says they'd belonged to his lost brother, Frerin, and Fíli thought it seemed fitting to have him wear the beads of his brother just as Kíli wears his. For Thorin the elves sing a lament, their high, ethereal voices making the song sound both sad and uplifting all at once. Thranduil says they sing of his good deeds, of how he took back his homeland against all odds, and of his battle with dragon-sickness, and how in the end he won the battle. He was a warrior, leader, a proud flawed king. Bard steps forward and lays the Arkenstone upon his breast before whispering a soft prayer, he steps back away, head bowed in respect. "May you find peace." His tomb is sealed by Dwalin and Nori, stoic as ever as they work. Thranduil steps forward when they step back and lays Orcrist upon the tomb. "May this blade warn of foes, and ward off all evil from Erebor from this day until the end of days."

Fíli can't stop the flood of tears that escape his eyes, body shaking with the force of his sobs. Bard moves forward and pulls the golden king into his arms, fingers carding through flaxen waves to comfort him. "Shh, shh." He croons, humming a tune he used to use to comfort his children during their night terrors. "Calm yourself. It's fine, it'll be fine. You have to breathe, Fíli, breathe." No one judges him for showing his grief, and one by one they begin to leave the room, allowing the young dwarf his moment to grieve as brother and nephew. 

For that Fíli is so g r a t f u l.


	8. This is gospel for the vagabonds.

♔ 

Fíli's hands shook and he clasped them together to hide their trembling but Dwalin could tell the boy was nervous. Today was the day that the crown of Erebor would be placed atop his fair head, today was the day he'd become King Under the Mountain. "Calm down, boy." The warrior barks making Fíli jump with surprise. "I am calm, Dwalin." His voice shakes though he tries to hide it. "Don't lie t' me, Fíli, Mahal knows yer nervous and so do I. I've been around ya since ya were a wee lad, ya don't think I know ya by now?" The little blond takes a deep breath wishing Bard or Thranduil were here with him. Dwalin isn't quite so comforting as they are to him, but silly rules kept him from having one or both of them present while he prepared himself.

♔ Start of flashback.

Born and raised in a summer h a z e.

Fíli came first in 2859 with hair like sunshine and eyes so blue they matched the sky in their intensity. Víli and Dís were blessed with a golden boy with clouds in his irises. Kíli came kicking and screaming five years later with inky hair and wide brown eyes. Fíli loves him the moment he lays eyes on him.

He was p e r f e c t.

As he's chasing Kíli, Fíli ducks underneath Dwalin, giggling shrilly as he watches the warrior flail to keep himself from falling. "C'mere, boy!" The little blond freezes, cowering in fear, thinking he's in trouble. Dwalin surprises him when he scoops him off his feet and lays a kiss on his fair brow. "Careful, laddie. Watch where yer going." Fíli smiles brightly and nods, scurrying away when he's set back on his feet. "Kee wait!"

A l w a y s underfoot.

Kíli /always/ got Fíli into more trouble than anyone else ever did. This time it was because he'd switched all the spices in Dáin's kitchen, and all the food the cooks had prepared was ruined. Thorin stood over them, his hands on his hips. "You two need to learn to behave. You're princes, boys, you cannot behave like this, and especially not in your cousin's household." Kíli and Fíli share a look, sheepish smiles on their faces. "Sorry, uncle." 

It doesn't take long for them to get in trouble again. Fíli can still feel the sting of his uncle's hand as he spanked him. 

"Boys, s t o p, behave yourselves!"

♔ End of flashback.

Fíli shakes his head to clear his thoughts, sparing the older dwarf a sidelong glance. "I know, I know. You helped ma and uncle Thorin raise us." His brow furrows at the thought of his uncle, the grief still too fresh in his mind. It had been a week since the battle that stole his beloved brother and uncle, a week since they were buried down in the dark of the mountain with the Arkenstone and Orcrist. "D'ya want me t' get Bard for ya, lad?" Fíli shakes his head again, turning away from Dwalin to gather himself once more. He can't mess this up. "I don't care wha' Dáin an' the others said, lad, if ya need Bard I'll get him."

"I'll be fine, Dwalin. I just need to breathe for a minute"

"Be strong, lad, ya can do this."

He must be s t r o n g.

The blond was startled from his reverie by the jarring sound of a horn from somewhere deep in the mountain. "It's time, Fíli. You'll make a fine King, lad. Don't worry your pretty head about that." Fíli manages a small, sad sort of smile and a gentle nod, trembling hands smoothing down the front of his robes. "I'm ready, Dwalin, or as ready as I'll ever be in this situation. Let's go." Dwalin takes Fíli by his elbow and led the still trembling dwarf towards the door, stopping to push open the door before guiding him out into the hall. 

Dáin stands waiting with Balin and the rest of the Company gathered around him. Fíli is glad for their presence, and to his surprise even Bilbo is there, standing at Bofur's side with a wide smile on his face. Fíli meets his gaze for a moment and he can see the pain still there, a look he knows can still be seen in his own blue eyes. He bows his head to Bilbo before turning back to Dwalin. He allows the warrior to move him into place. "Look behind ya, lad." Fíli turns slowly, blue eyes going wide with shock when the parting of the crowd reveals his mother. "M-Mama?" He whispers, voice hitching with emotion. "Come, my love." She opens her arms to her son and he's in them in an instant, tears escaping his eyes as he clings to his beloved mother. "A-Amad, I'm so sorry." She shushes him, hands framing his face, thumbs brushing his cheekbones. "You owe me no apologies, my lion." She murmurs before pressing a sweet kiss to his brow. "Come, wipe your eyes, my love." Fíli sniffles, wiping his eyes with the handkerchief she puts in his hand.

"It's t i m e to take your throne, my love."

Once all are in place they begin the slow march to the throne room, Fíli walks with Dís at his side, his mother as beautiful and fierce as she always is. Dáin walks ahead of them, looking more like the lord he is than Fíli has ever seen him, and for a half a second Fíli thinks that Dáin should be King, not him, never him. Erebor needs a good king not a broken princeling who's lost everything and gained nothing. 

He is b r o k e n beyond repair.

Dwalin and Dori walk on either side of Fíli and his mother, clothed in the armor of the royal guard, Ori and Balin walk directly behind the soon-to-be King and the lady Dís, Ori wearing the robes of the royal scribe, a quill and parchment clutched in his hands, Balin wearing lordly robes of gold and scarlet, the rest of the Company and Bilbo walk behind Balin and Ori all dressed in the finest of robes befitting their new stations. 

Atop Fíli's head is the ornamental circlet from Thranduil. His robes are of the deepest blue, trimmed with silver. Delicate silver chains hang down his chest from a collar of silver rings wrapped round his pale throat, on one hand he wears five rings connected by golden chains, on the other he wears a ring set with a large emerald connected by a thin chain to a bracelet set with several gleaming emeralds. He looks every bit the prince he is.

♔

The march from the king's chambers to the throne room is slow and long and there are dwarves and men and elves everywhere. It's almost overwhelming and Fíli /almost/ runs. Dís at his side gives him courage to move forward until it's only he and Dáin walking down the aisle to the great throne of Erebor. The blond ascends the stairs to his throne and sits upon the throne just as he was instructed to do. Dáin walks up after him, a crown of silver and rubies in his hands. Fíli's head swims, a dull ringing in his ears is the only sound he hears. It's only when the crown is laid upon his head that he comes back to himself, glassy blue eyes flicking up to Dáin. At the look in his cousin's eyes Fíli rises to his feet, hands balled into fists at his sides. At his side Dáin grabs one of his hands and pulls it up. "Hail Fíli, King Under the Mountain!" Cries Dáin to the gathered crowd, his great red beard braided with beads of gold, "Hail to the King!" Silence reigned over the crowd before erupting into thundering cheers that shook the very mountain itself. "Hail Fíli," was shouted like a battle cry, "Hail to the King Under The Mountain!"

Dáin drops his arm and steps down to leave Fíli standing upon the dais with his head held high, golden hair woven with beads of silver set with gems of the deepest blue, and in that moment he looked every part the king he was born to be. Dís couldn't be any prouder of her son than she is now. From atop his throne Fíli meets Bard's eyes and then Thranduil's. He wants nothing more then to run to them but he mustn't lose face. He is king now, and kings do not run. They stand tall and true in the face of adversity.

♔

Fíli is king at the cost of his uncle's life, at the cost of his brother's life, and that's the last thing he'd ever wanted. Who would ever want to be king under such circumstances?

No more t u r n i n g away.


	9. This is the beat of my heart.

♔

The newly crowned King Under The Mountain ascended the stairs leading up to his throne when Thranduil holds out a slim hand to him. He tries to hide the excitement but one glance in his mother's direction lets him know that she noticed it. He takes Thranduil's hand and fits himself between them, laughing at something Bard whispers to him, only Bard has been able to make him laugh lately. The raven-haired man surprises him when he wraps him up in a hug and presses a kiss to his brow, a wide smile curling up his lips. 

"Hail to the King Under The Mountain." He whispers, brushing Fíli's hair back over his shoulder with a gentle hand. He holds him a moment longer than he should before releasing him. The blond turns once he's out of Bard's arms and throws his arms around Thranduil's waist, grinning when the elf stiffens like a surprised feline before relaxing into the hug, slim fingers tracing a line down the side of the blond's face. Fíli shivers under the innocent touch, unused to such intimacy.

"My little King." Fíli beams at the affection he hears in Thranduil's voice.

"Aye, yours." He confirms.

Bard leans down and nuzzles his nose against Fíli's temple. "And mine as well." Fíli's heart skips a beat at the words whispered into his ear. He manages little more than a breathy whisper of 'yes,' teeth sinking into his lower lip. "Yours," He says after a moment.

They make Fíli h a p p y.

The blond sees his mother slip away, his brow furrowing with worry. Thranduil gives his shoulder a gentle pat, pulling his attention away. "She is grieving just as you are. She has lost her last brother and a son, she needs time to herself." Fíli smiles sadly, leaning into Bard's side heavily. The man doesn't miss a beat, one long arm curling around the blond's shoulders to hold him up. "She'll be fine, Lion." Fíli hums thoughtfully, sharp blue eyes taking in everything going on around them. "Of course she'll be fine. We're of Durin's Folk, and Durin's Folk are stronger than steel." 

Steel b e n d s with enough pressure. 

Bard releases him after pressing a kiss to his hair, with a wave of his hand he beckons his children to them, smiling just as wide as before. Sigrid and Bain are a bit more composed than Tilda as they make their way over, the youngest is running with her skirts clutched in her hands. When she makes it to them she throws herself into Fíli's arms who catches her and swings her around, laugher bubbling up in his throat. "Your crown is so pretty, Fee!" She chirps, nuzzling her nose against his affectionately. "Thank you, ghivashel." He coos, pressing their foreheads together. 

In that m o m e n t he thinks, 'I can do this."

With Thranduil, Bard, Tauriel, and the children at his side there is n o t h i n g Fíli can't do. The little king glances up at Thranduil first and then to Bard, then to Sigrid and Bain's smiling faces, then over to Tauriel slowly coming closer to them, and finally to Tilda tucked in his arms, and he can't help but smile. He may have lost his brother and his uncle but he is not truly alone. With this great loss he's gained an even greater treasure; the love of these beautiful children, the friendship of a she-elf who loved his brother, and the respect and affection of two great kings. Fíli looks up from Tilda to see what remains of the company coming towards them. Ori with Dori and Nori not far behind, Bofur and Bombur leading Bifur along as gentle as ever, then Balin and Dwalin and Oin and Gloin. This is his family, and that's what matters. So long as he has them he will never be alone. 

And that's what m a t t e r s most.


	10. Open the gates.

♔

The weeks following his coronation had been trying for Fíli. He'd had very little time to spend with Bard, most of his days spent locked away in the council chambers over seeing the plans for restoring Erebor to its former splendor. Much of the debris had been cleared and the forges once again burned with fire. As much as the golden king wanted to run away to be with Bard, he knew that he couldn't. They were kings who had duties to attend to. There was no time for silliness in their lives. There was no time for love.

The idea to open the gates of Erebor to any who wish to come pay homage to the King Under The Mountain had been proposed by Dáin who saw it as a way to show that there was still strength in the Line of Durin. Fíli didn't feel strong at all, he felt weak and stretched too thin. Dwalin opposed it at every turn, seeing it as a way to leave their King vulnerable to an attack. "His wounds haven't yet healed, cousin." He growls, slamming his fist down on the table. Fíli's side twinges with pain at the mention of the still aching wound

"Stop.." He croaks, his voice wrought with emotion, still they continue to fight amongst themselves, ignoring the golden haired dwarf. "I said stop!" He cries, trembling from the exertion. This outburst gets their attention and forces it on their golden King, Balin's eyes wide with shock. Shy, sweet Fíli had never risen his voice to any of them before, and being on the receiving end of his ire is jarring."We should not be fighting amongst ourselves. If Dáin says open the gates, open them!"

"Fíli —," The blond cut Dwalin off before he could finish his sentence and shook his golden head, "Let it be, Dwalin, open the gates, let them come. I trust you to protect me." Dwalin gave his King a nod before rising to his feet. "As you wish, my King." He murmurs, giving Fíli's shoulder a gentle pat before leaving. "This is the right thing to do, Fíli. You mustn't seem weak." Fíli waves a hand dismissively, sighing quietly "I understand, Dáin, I understand that they think you'd have made a better King than me, and honestly, I agree with them. I am young, the youngest king to sit on this throne, and I am broken. Why should I be king?" It takes courage for him to voice his fears, and now that he's said it aloud he feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest, and he can breathe once more. 

Balin shakes his head, brow furrowing. "Do not say such things, Fíli, Thorin would've wanted you to take the throne. He chose you, not Dáin. You must lead us in his place. You will be a great King. You will make your uncle proud." Fíli's face twists in pain at the mention of his uncle. "I know, Balin, I know. I would've rathered seeing him up there, not me. I never wanted this, I am not ready." Dáin rises to his feet and claps his hands together. "Come, enough of such sad talk. We must prepare for what's to come." Fíli rises next to him, his crown of silver and rubies atop his flaxen waves, chains are woven into his braids along with the beads of his would-be lovers. Dáin has already noticed this but hasn't yet said anything. It's only a matter of time until he does. "Are you ready, Fíli?" Balin spoke softly, concern written in the lines of his face. 

"I am ready as I'll ever be, Balin. Let us go."

They all file from the room in a line, Fíli at the head leading them up to the great throne room of Erebor. He strides up the steps leading to his throne and stands upon the dais for a moment, steel blue eyes surveying everything going on around him before he settles himself on his throne, hands grasping the armrests on either side of him. "Open the gates." He calls out, voice loud and clearing, echoing in the great halls. The guards obey almost instantly, moving to push open the great gates of Erebor. Fíli takes a deep breath, steeling himself for this moment.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Tauriel coming with an odd shaped bundle in her hands, her flame colored hair done up in dwarven braids. The she-elf had fallen in quickly amongst the dwarves of Erebor, adopting some customs yet still keeping her own. She climbs the stairs leading up to the throne, lips pulling up in a smile. "Bard sends his love and gifts." Fíli perks up at the mention of gifts, blue eyes going bright. "Gimme, woman." He teases, wrinkling his nose. She lets out a tinkling laugh, and shakes her head. "Demanding little thing, aren't you?" She settles on the arm of the throne and lays the bundle on her lap to unwrap it. 

"This is from Sigrid" She sets the first gift down on his lap, smiling as he unwraps it. The gift is two rings made of black metal, one for the pinky and the other from the thumb connected by three thin chains. "I love it."

"She knew you would. This one is from Bain." She sets the second gift down on his lap. He unwraps this one slowly, a quiet gasp leaving his lips. "By Mahal, it's beautiful!" The gift is a thick bangle made of gold connected to a ring by three thick chains. 

"They spoil me." 

"I told them the same thing. This is from Tilda." She teases, setting the third present on his lap. He unwraps this one as quickly as the first. "Ear cuffs." He picks up one eyeing it curiously. "Is that a dragon?" Tauriel inspects it, nodding after a moment. "Aye, it is. A little gold dragon." 

"Put it on me." 

"Fíli.. Are you sure?"

"Do it." He gathers his hair and pulls it out of her way. "Go and tell them I love their gifts." Tauriel hums in response pulling away after she puts the little dragon on his ear. "I haven't given you Bard's gift yet." She lays the fourth and final gift on his lap. "There." Fíli stares at the package for the longest time before he moves open it. Another little gasp leaves his lips when the gift is revealed to him. Three rings lay on his lap, silver antlers, a gold lion, and a gray arrow. Three rings for three kings to signify the bond between them. Tears gather in the corner of his eyes and it takes everything in him to stop them from falling. 

"Don't cry, Fee, your people are coming. Look." Tauriel raises his head with a finger under his chin, moving his gaze from the rings to the line of people coming towards them. She quickly gathers up the things of Fíli's lap before pressing a quick kiss to his temple. "I have to go now, lion, I'll have a gift for you later, I promise." With that she's gone leaving Fíli to face this alone. He doesn't have to look down to know that she'd left the rings with him. They feel as though they weigh a thousand pounds, weighing him down under the weight of their meaning. 

After Tauriel leaves him Ori and Balin take their places on either side of him. Fíli sits silently upon his throne, eyes like steel staring straight ahead. From the moment the first one arrived and set a gift at his feet it seemed like a hundred more came after, a long never-ending line of well-wishers, both human and dwarf alike. Many offered gifts to their new King and others offered condolences for his great loss. The golden King took all these things with a gentle nod of his head and a kind smile, playing the part as best as he can. He had no other choice.

One gift in particular sticks out amongst the many gifts laid at his feet, and after a long moment of just staring at it, he finally rises to his feet, much to the amazement of those gathered before him, and moves to pick it up. It was a bow carved of the darkest wood similar to the one his lost brother had used. It made his heart ache to look at it but he loved it all the same. He held the bow with a gentleness rarely seen in dwarves and brought it to his chest, a small, sad smile curling up his lips. Oh, how he misses Kíli. He misses him with every fibre of his being. He misses his laughter, his smile, his fathomless brown eyes. 

He's pulled from his reverie by a soft tug at his sleeve, and after taking a second to gather his wits once more he looks down at the small child standing beside him. "Do not be sad, my lord." Fíli can't help but smile at the girl, the first genuine smile he's shown towards any one outside of his circle in the weeks since losing his brother. The dwarf lays a hand atop the girl's golden curls so like his own, and ruffles them affectionately. "I am trying, little one." He speaks just loud enough to be heard by her and her alone. "What is your name?"

"I'm Nál, majesty." She chirps, holding a small carven lion out to the king. "Mama and I made this for you." Her smile is shy and sweet, big blue eyes hopeful. Fíli sets the bow aside and takes the lion, examining it with sapphire eyes. "I /love/ it, kidhuzurâl." He exclaims, tucking the lion into his pocket. Little Nál bounces happily and throws her arms around the king, hugging him as best as she can. Fíli laughs and returns the hug, his heart lightened by this child's innocent joy. 

He can do this. For Nál, for Kíli, and for the future of Erebor.

And for his life with Bard and Thranduil.


	11. Weight of it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that this took so long.   
> And thank you to everyone who likes this. It makes me happy knowing people enjoy reading my brainchild.

♔

After Tauriel left Fíli she went back to her chambers and began planning her gift for the golden haired dwarf. Fíli had been a great help to her in the weeks since her beloved was taken from her by battle. The two had bonded in their shared grief and resolved to try and bring the other at least some semblance of happiness. Fíli had Bard and his children and Thranduil as well though the elf wasn't so forward in his affection as Bard was. Even so Tauriel could see how much the elven-king did care for the little dwarf. Fíli is small for a dwarf with hair like spun gold and eyes as clear and blue as the sky. He's beautiful in ways the other dwarves aren't, all bright smiles, sapphire eyes, and so, so much gold. 

She dismisses the dwarrowdams fussing about her room with a soft smile, assuring them she can handle everything from here. Having servants and such to clean up behind her is one of the things Tauriel hadn't quite gotten used to. She's more than capable of dressing and undressing herself, thank you. The redhead moves across the room to retrieve the jewelry she'd found for Fíli. The largest piece is a thick golden collar with chains hanging. The rest of it is rings, beads for his hair, and a few odd ear cuffs. Fíli's love of jewelry was the biggest surprise but a delightful one. Tauriel had problem with spoiling the dwarf with pretty things. He deserved everything gift laid at his feet, and so much more.

Her next gift though was going to be a little trickier to get in. She wants to bring Bard into Erebor without Fíli knowing about. It needs to be a surprise. She knows how much Fíli misses Bard, and Bard misses Fíli, but their positions keep them apart, and when they are together it's surrounded by the council of dwarf lords. Dáin, as she already knows, has a great disdain for others outside of his race. He argued against her staying in Erebor quite vocally. "Only dwarves belong in these halls, Fíli, let the she-elf go elsewhere!" He'd said. Fíli fought him and eventually he backed down under threat of being sent away. It warmed Tauriel's heart to know that Fíli would exile his kin in defense of her.

She plans to bring Bard into Erebor as her next surprise for Fíli, but how does on sneak a man into a mountain so heavily guarded without the king knowing about it? The she-elf sighs softly, fiddling with one of her braids idly. If she remembers correctly Nori and Váli are on guard duty today or so she hopes. They will help her. Bard and Fíli haven't had much time to themselves and this would be a much deserved break from their duties. She just needs to get the other lords on board. Balin and Dwalin will agree with her, and it's the others she's worried about. Dáin disapproves of the budding relationship between Bard and their golden king. He will fight her on this, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. 

Tauriel crossed the room and gathered her things before leaving the room. She navigated the halls easily, having learned her way around fairly quickly. This was her home now, and she plans to know all of it's secrets. She stepped out onto one of the balconies overlooking the throne and looked down on Fíli and the line of people standing before him. The young king looked nervous, his clear blue eyes fixed ahead of him. The urge to go down to him was great but she could not dawdle much longer. As the line got shorter the chances of her getting Bard in here unnoticed lessened. She had to act fast. The redhead stepped back into the hall and made her way down the stairs, dodging dwarves coming and going as she went. 

Once she made it down the stairs she covered her hair with the cloth in her hands and blended into the crowd, moving the opposite way. She slipped past Nori who said nothing, just gave a nod of his head before she was gone. She made it to Bard's quicker than she usually would, startling Bard and the children with her rushed entrance. The man was on his feet in an instant, worry clear in his eyes. "Is everything okay? Has he been hurt?" Tauriel raises her hands placatingly and shakes her head. "No, no, he is fine. He's just been listless lately.. He.. He misses you, Bard. That's the only thing I can think of." Bard pushes a hand through his hair, sighing. Here in his house he didn't have to wear his crown, he could just be him. "Did he tell you that?"

"No, he did not, but I know him, Bard, he needs you. Come with me, please. I can't watch him waste away to nothing."

"He'll be fine, he's stronger than he looks."

"I know he is but that doesn't mean he should be left to suffer."

Bard looks pained for a moment before he nods. "I'll come with you. Let me find my coat." Bard's search proves fruitless, his mind too distracted by the little dwarf. "What do you plan to do, Tauriel?" The elf adjusts Bard's collar. "I gave him the rings." She murmurs just loud enough to be heard by Bard and Bard alone. 

"How did he respond?" 

"With tears."

"Did he not like them?"

"Not all tears are bad, Bard." She moves around him to go tend to the children. The she-elf hugs Tilda close and presses a kiss to the top of the girl's head. Bard turns to face Sigrid, a small smile on his face. "Don't worry, da, we'll be fine. Go to him." Tauriel gives Tilda another kiss atop her head before she moves over to Bard. "Come we mustn't dawdle any longer, my friend." 

"How do you plan to get me inside without him knowing?"

"They opened the gates today. There's been a steady stream of men and dwarves coming into the mountain all morning."

"For what?" Bard's brow furrows with confusion as he Tauriel move along down the street. "All must pay homage to the King Under The Mountain. Fíli says Dáin said that keeping the gates closed could seem like weakness."

"And having him out in the open isn't?" Bard saw red, his pace increasing in speed. Tauriel kept up with him easily. "You shouldn't doubt his people's ability to keep him safe, Bard. They would never allow any harm to come to him." The man growls his disagreement. "I should be there with him. I do not doubt them, no, but that still doesn't mean I like that I wasn't informed of this. He means a great deal to me, Tauriel. More than I can admit aloud."

"Why is it so difficult for you?"

"I have children, Tauriel. He's young, he's probably never been with a woman before, he has his whole life ahead of him. He shouldn't waste his time with me."

"He wants you, Bard. He won't settle for anyone else."

Bard lets out a sigh, turning his gaze on The Lonely Mountain, and the stream of people coming and going from it's great gates. "Take me to him. It's time him and I had a talk about this."

♔

Getting Bard into the mountain was easier than Tauriel thought it would be. They'd moved through the crowd of well-wishers and past Fíli's ever watchful eyes. Getting Bard into Fíli's private chambers was the hard part. The corridor leading to them was crowded with dwarves and men talking amongst themselves. Bard and Tauriel weaved through them, offering greetings when they're recognized. Soon they make it out and before he knows it Bard is at Fíli's chamber door. He'd never been inside before, they hadn't been able to find the time. The man almost hated that Fíli wasn't here for this, it felt almost like a violation. "Quick go inside!" Tauriel ushered Bard into the room before disappearing down the hall to her chambers. Once he's alone he has no idea what to do, so he settles on the edge of the bed to wait for his dwarf to get back.

♔

Fíli hadn't expected to find anyone in his chambers when he returned to them after dinner, so he's scared as hell when he finds Bard sitting on the end of his bed. A soft yelp escapes his lips before he stifles anymore unwanted noises. "B-Bard, I-I... Hello." The dwarf walks into the room, setting his crown on a table against the wall. Bard watches him silently as he removes his coat and bracers noting how nervous the dwarf seems. He flinches when he hears the telltale clinks of metal hitting the wooden top of the dresser. "Is something troubling you, little one?"

"The rings, Bard. What do they mean?"

"I should not have given them to you, Fíli."

"Why not?" Fíli finally looks over at Bard, pain clear in his crystalline eyes. "Why was it so wrong for you to give them to me?"

"Fíli, you are young, too young to be tying yourself to me. You should find a wife, have children, carrying on your line." Fíli scoffs, handsome face twisting in a frown. "What if I don't want a wife, Bard? What if I want you? Would it really be so bad for me to bond myself to you?”

“Fili, please, you must see reason! Your people would never approve of this! You are a king, and it is your duty to continue your line.”

“I don’t give a damn about what my people want! I’ve given enough for this accursed mountain! My brother is dead! My uncle is dead! And now you say I must give you up as well? This isn’t fair!’

“Nothing in life is fair, Fíli, you should already know that.”

Fíli glares at Bard, bright eyes glassy with unshed tears. He reaches back and swipes the rings off the dresser behind him and throws them at Bard, his lips twisting as he fights the urge to cry. “I was a fool to think you actually cared for me.” He hisses, his normally sweet voice laced with venom, “Leave, now. I can’t stand the sight of you.”

“Fíli, ple-” The blond cuts him off with a wave of his hand, “Bard, leave.” Bard pauses for a moment, bending to pick up the rings, jade eyes studying the little gilded lion. The mere thought of a life without Fíli in it caused him great pain, “I can’t do that, little one.”

“What do you mean you can’t! You’ve already said you don’t want me! What have I done to deserve such cruelty from you, Bard?" The man steps forward, brow furrowing as the dwarf takes a step back, suddenly nervous. “You have nothing to fear from me, little lion. I would never harm you.”

“I’m not scared of you,” He snaps even as his voice shakes. “Good, now, come here.” Bard drops to his knees in front of Fíli and opens his arms to him. The blond doesn’t hesitate to rush forward into the man’s waiting arms, his face buried against Bard’s throat, body shaking with the force of the sobs he finally lets out. “Shh, my love, do not weep." Bard soothes him with a kiss on his cheek, one hand burying itself in the dwarf's thick blond hair. "Don't leave me, Bard, I can't do this alone."

"You will never be alone, little one." His words are a promise as he scoops Fíli up into his arms and carries him to the large bed, setting him on it before settling at his side. Fíli immediately curls against him, mouth finding Bard's once he's close enough. The kiss is slow and sweet, and Fíli hopes he conveys everything he feels for Bard in this one kiss. The man lets out a soft moan, the sound muffled by the press of their lips, the rings still clutched in his hand. It takes everything in him to break the kiss, his forehead pressed against Fíli's, their lips inches apart. "Are you sure that this is what you want?" He whispers in the space between their lips. "Yes." That one word sends joy coursing through Bard like nothing else can. He takes Fíli's hand, keeping eye contact with him as he slides the ring onto the dwarf's finger. Fíli's breath hitches in his throat, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. "No tears, little one. This is a happy moment, no?"

"Bard, I am happy. Not all tears are a bad thing."

"Tauriel said the same thing."

"Then it must be true." Fíli chuckles, pushing Bard's coat off his shoulders, cheeks coloring red. "Fíli..." Bard allows the dwarf to push his coat off, tossing it aside carelessly. "I've never lain with another, not ever." Fíli's cheeks turn even redder, hands fumbling to pulls Bard's shirt free from his breeches. "Sex is sacred to Dwarves. Most will save themselves for the one they love the most, not everyone practices it, but mama raised us this way." He chews his lower lip, suddenly shy as the weight of what could happen begins to settle on him. "I want you to be the one to take it. My virtue is yours." 

"Fíli, I-I am honored that you'd choose me, but this does not have to happen tonight. Why don't we wait, yes? Thranduil will be back for your birthday in a few weeks. Why don't we wait for him?" 

"Yes, we can do that." Fíli cuddles closer to Bard's chest, arms curling around him. "Will you stay the night?"

"I would stay every night if you asked me to, my sweet."

"Goodnight, Bard." The little yawn that leaves Fíli's lips makes Bard smile fondly. "Goodnight, Fíli." He murmurs before pressing a kiss to Fíli's forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter may contain smut. I'm not sure if I'll write it yet, but I might.


	12. These words are knives that often leave scars

Fíli sighs and pushes a hand through his hair, he'd left his crown sitting atop the long table, Balin an d the other dwarf lords still seated in their respective chairs. Fíli and Dáin have been arguing most of the meeting, the older dwarf raging on and on about Fíli's relationship with the Elven-King. Dáin was the only one bold enough to say anything about it, but he could see the agreement written clear across the other's faces. "He saved me, my lords. His medicines kept the infection at bay. His watchful eyes made sure I made a full recovery before he left for his woods." There was a ripple of murmurs across the table, but still they said nothing. Fíli sighs once more, sapphire eyes falling on Dáin standing across from him, then to Dwalin just behind him, standing sentry at the door.

"I forbid you from seeing him again, Fíli. It's inappropriate." Blue eyes fly back to his cousin, a derisive snort is his first response. "You cannot make me, Dáin! I am the king, and you have no right to tell me who I can and cannot see!"

"He is the enemy!"

"No, he isn't! He is my âzyungâl!" 

Dáin stiffens, wild brown eyes fixed on his golden cousin. "He fucks me and I love every second of it!" The backhanded slap comes out of nowhere, sending Fíli reeling back, hand flying up to cover his cheek, crystalline eyes wide with shock. "Have you lost your mind, Dáin?!" The blond shrieks, stumbling back to put space between himself and the older dwarf, out of the corner of his eye he sees Dwalin move forward, rage written in every line of the warrior's face. Fíli raises a hand to stop him, glare fixed on his cousin. "Leave, now! Before I have you dragged out of here for daring to strike me."

"I will do it again given the chance! You're a foolish boy making the worst kinds of decisions. That elf cannot be trusted, and yet you spread your legs for him!"

"You are blinded by your hatred, my lord, and it will be your downfall one of these days."

"And you're blinded by your love for him, /majesty/." He spits the last word like it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. "Do you hear the things they whisper about you, Fíli? That you're that elf king's whore? Is that the legacy you wish to leave behind? The whore with a crown atop his head!" He gestures wildly to Fíli looking around at the other lords. "Are you all loyal to your whore king?"

"You go too far, cousin!" If looks could kill Dáin would be dead and buried. 

"You bring shame upon the line of Durin, and upon the crown of Erebor by consorting with him!" 

"How, pray tell, does my relationship with Thranduil bring shame to our line? Please, I'd love to here this!"  
Fíli  
"Elves are not to be trusted! He will steal from us given the chance! You are vulnerable and he knows this! Don't you see, Fíli! Or has he blinded you with proclamations of love?"

"He would never steal from me, not ever!" The blond hisses, eyes like steel fixed upon his flame haired cousin. It's clear to see Fili is angry, it's written in every movement of the young king's body, in the way he clenches his fists or furrows his brow, in the way he takes a step back, the urge to run bearing down on him. "He cares for me, Bard cares for me, and there is nothing you or anyone can do about it. I am old enough to make my decisions. I wish to hear nothing more on the matter." He inclines his head to the other dwarves before turning to leave.

"Fili!" Dáin makes to move towards the retreating lad but is stopped by Dwalin, "Let the lad go. Ya have insulted him enough for one day. Callin' him a whore wasn't right."

"It was most unkind of you to call him such a cruel name, Dáin, seeing as though he's never actually lain with anyone before." All eyes turn on Balin, suprised murmurs breaking out across the table. "And how d'ya know that, brother?'

"Tis my job to know everything about them and what they do. I'm their advisor, it's my job to advise them against making bad decisions."

Fili pauses at the door and after taking a moment to think about what he'll do next he whirls around and pulls the crown off his head and slings it at Dain, handsome face twisted with disdain. "Take it, cousin, I do not want it! I never wanted this burden, take it from me, and bury it before it buries me!" The crown hits the ground at Dain's feet with a resounding clatter. Fili is gone before anyone can say a word to him.

The blond makes his way down the hall, heading back to his chambers, ignoring all who call his name. He is angry, he has every right to be angry. How dare Dain presume to give him orders? He is supposed to be king, and yet they treat him as though he's a child. Hasn't he done enough to prove himself? Hasn't he shed enough blood? He enters his chambers and locks the door behind him, gathering up some of his things. He'll go to Bard, the man will know what to do.

Leaving the mountain isn't nearly as easy as he thinks it would be.

"Majesty, it is most unwise for you to leave the mountain unguarded."

"Tauriel is with me, I am not unguarded, and have you forgotten that I am perfectly capable of defending myself?"

"I meant no disrespect, majesty."

Fili waves him off, "Then what did you mean exactly?'

"I... Dain says that I should advise you against leaving."

"Is that what Dain said? I need for you to let me pass. Last I checked I was king, not Dain. Step aside, please, I have business to attend to in Dale. I will not ask you again." Tauriel stands tall at his side, steadfast and true, a hand on his shoulder keeping him anchored to her. She is his rock, his beacon of starlight. Finally the guard steps aside and allows them to pass, a grim look on his face. "Tell Dain I said that I want him gone before I return in two days." With that he leaves with Tauriel close behind him. He holds his head high, the elven circlet from Thranduil on his brow and Bard's ring on his finger. Thranduil's ring hangs on a chain around his neck, close to his heart just likes it's future owner.

They make it to Bard's house with little interuption. He imagines that the people they encounter along the way can see how irritated he is, and that bothering him would probably be most unwise. Tilda opens the door soon after Tauriel's gentle knock, a wide smile stealing across her face. She wastes no time in throwing her arms around Fili first, and then Tauriel, giggling sweetly when the she-elf sweeps her off her feet.

"Da, Fee and Tauri are here!" Fili grins when he hears the telltale thump of boots hitting the wooden floor above them. He turns to face the stairwell, his grin only widening when Bard comes into view. The man immediately rushes to him, pulling him up into his arms, hugging him tightly. "Oh, I missed you, little one. What brings you here? Has something happened?" Bard pulls back to study Fili, gaze darkening at the bruise blooming on he dwarf's cheek. "Someone struck you? Who was it?!" He demands, holding Fili all the tighter, anger rising in the pit of his stomach. Who would dare to hurt his precious? "Dain, it was Dain." It was whispered so quietly that Bard almost didn't hear it, and he wished he hadn't. Why would Dain strike his kin? Has he gone mad?"

"Can we talk in private? Please?"

Bard nods before setting Fili on his feet. "Of course, little one. Go upstairs, please, I'll be up there shortly." Fili does as he's told, disappearing up the stairs. Bard turns to Tauriel and his children, clearing his throat before speaking, "Tauriel, could you take my children with you when you leave? I have much to discuss with Fili, and they need to be fed. I'm afraid I'll be rather busy tonight." The redhead nods, shifting Tilda in her arms, "Of course, my friend. Anything I can do to help. Fix him, please. He won't admit it but Dain hitting him really upset him. I found him in the hall close to having a fit. He needs you."

"I will take care of him as best as I can, I promise."

"Shall I send word to Thranduil?"

"No, I'll handle that."

"Well," Tauriel pauses, glancing at the oldest two standing on either side of her. "Tell your father goodnight, we must be going now." Bain and Sigrid both hug their father and whisper their goodnights to him. "Love you, da. Goodnight!" Chimes Tilda, her head on Tauriel's shoulder. "I love you too, my darling."

After they leave Bard goes upstairs and finds Fili sitting on the edge of the bed, a hand covering his reddened cheek. The man drops down to kneel in front of the tiny blond, one big hand cupping his other cheek. "He had no right to hit you, my love. You did not deserve such treatment."

"I threw the crown at him, so that makes up for it a little."

"Did it hit him?"

"No but it still made me feel better. I felt so stupid letting him manhandle me like that, but there was nothing I could do. He's much bigger, and much stronger. I didn't have a choice."

Bard sighs softly, his other hand playing with the dwarf's golden braids, "You're staying here, my love. I don't want you around him right now. Do you believe he would try to hurt you again?"

"I don't know, Bard, I really don't know. He frightened me."

The man lets out another sigh before pulling himself up to his feet. "You should rest. You've been through a lot." He busies himself unlacing the front of his own tunic, forest green eyes cast down. Fili bites his lips, cheeks coloring as he works open his own tunic before pulling it off and casting it aside. "I'm sorry, Bard, I shouldn't have put this on you."

"No, no, you did the right thing in coming to me. I would've been angry if you hadn't. This isn't something I'd want to find out about from Tauriel. You can trust me with things like this. If someone hurts you, I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to make sure that it never happens again. You mean a great deal to me." He takes Fili's hand and kisses the ring on his finger. "I love you, Fili, more than you know." Fili gasps, big blue eyes going wide, "Bard, I- I love you, too."

Bard can't stop the smile that spreads across his face, "Hearing those words makes me the happiest man in the world, you know that right?" He lifts Fili up and slides him further up the bed, hands pushing Fili's thighs apart before he settles over him, careful not to put all his weight on the smaller body. "I know, Bard." The man rumbles out a laugh, trailing kisses up Fili's throat, big hands settling on the dwarf's hips, squeezing gently.

"I know we said we'd wait for Thranduil but if I wanted you to make love to me tonight, would you?" His cheeks turn bright red, oceanic eyes on the man above him. "I want you, I've wanted you from the moment you saved me."

"Fili, he'll be here tomorrow. We have something very special planned for you."

"Tell me!" He wriggles excitedly, hands grasping Bard's shoulders. "Please!"

"No, I can't, I promised Thranduil I wouldn't. It's a suprise." Fili opens his mouth to protest but is silenced by a heated kiss, a low moan muffled by the press of their lips. "Shh, little one." Bard whispers in the space between their lips, hands sneaking down to push Fili's breeches down, grinning against the dwarf's lips. "Sleep, you'll need to be well rested for tomorrow." He steals another kiss before he pulls away and lays at Fili's side. 

"You're evil, Bard, but you already know that, don't you?" Bard chuckles, pulling the dwarf into his arms. "I am not. You love me and you know it."

"I do love you. Now, be quiet and let me sleep."

"Good night, Fili."

"Good night, Bard."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of feel bad for making Dain the bad guy but he was the only one I could see hitting Fili and not really caring about it.


	13. You're the pulse that I've always needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long. Work has been a bitch this month. Then birthdays and more work and planning for school soon. I'm not gonna give up on this, nope, ever. This story is my baby.

Fíli woke to the feel of long fingers in his hair, smooth lips trailing kisses down his throat, and a hard body pressed against his back. He lets out a soft purr of contentment, head falling back on Bard's shoulder as Thranduil continues to loosen the braids in his hair. "Good morning, little one." Fíli's lips curl up into a sleepy smile, "Morning, amrâlimê." He murmurs, voice thick with sleep. "Happy birthday." The blond blinks open his eyes and fixes them on Thranduil, hands curling in the silken fabric of his tunic. "Missed you."

"I missed you too, Fíli."

"Bard told me what happened. Dáin had no right to strike you."

"I know, but it's over and done with. Let it stay in the past where it belongs."

Thranduil pulls a long fingered hand back from his hair and cradles the unbruised side of his face, lips pressing gentle kisses to the angry mark covering the dwarf's cheek. "What provoked him to do such a thing to you?" He speaks softly, clear blue eyes focused on Fíli with intensity that made the blond shiver.

"I told him you were fucking me and that I loved it." He says after taking a pause to clear his head. Bard is still pressed to his back, they're both naked beneath the blankets that hide them from Thranduil's eye. He knows that he should feel shy being so exposed as he is, but he finds that it doesn't bother him in the slightest. He enjoys knowing that his lovers can see him. He has nothing to hide from them. It is all here laid out before them.

"Why would you say such a thing to him?"

"I wasn't thinking. He was telling me I couldn't see you anymore, amrâlimê. He has no right to tell me what I can and can't do. He is not my father."

Thranduil exhaled softly, fingers twining in the silken strands of Fíli's hair, "You shouldn't provoke him. He is dangerous and unpredictable."

"I didn't think he would hit me. Now I know that I was wrong. Can we please not talk about this? Please?" 

Thranduil pauses for a half a second before he nods. "I will say nothing more on the matter. Today is about you, my precious gem." Fíli's cheeks color at the nickname, big blue eyes locking with the elf's eyes. "I am so happy that you came."

"I couldn't miss your birthday, rá, That would've been most unkind of me." Fíli smiles brightly and after taking a moment to think about it he leans forward and presses his lips to Thranduil's in a chaste kiss, wriggling from beneath the blankets to meld himself to Thranduil's chest, hands finding purchase in his robes once more. Bard stays where he is, laying back against the pillows, dark eyes fixed on his two golden lovers. They are beautiful together, Bard thinks, Fíli is tiny compared to Thranduil, sprawled over the slender elf's chest. One of Thranduil's hands is splayed across the dwarf's lower back keeping him anchored against him, the other is buried in the flaxen hair they both so love. The morning sun streams in through the cracks in the curtains, making Fíli and Thranduil glow brilliantly beneath it's rays. Bard can't believe how lucky he is.

Thranduil kept the kiss slow and languid, long fingers moving through the silken strands of the dwarf's hair, his other hand crawling further down to grasp Fili by his thigh, hiking his leg up higher to spread them apart. Fili lets out a mewl in response, the sound muffled by the press of their lips. It takes everything in Thranduil to break the kiss, clear blue eyes fixed on his smaller lover. "Is something wrong, my heart?" He murmurs, a ghost of a grin forming on his thin lips. Fili lets out another one of those delicious little mewls, lips pulling up into a pout. "Nothing is wrong, nothing at all, amrâlimê."

"Watching the two of you is like living in a dream." Both blonds glance back to their darker lover, matching grins replacing their former expressions. "Surely you know that you are not dreaming?" That was Thranduil, words like honey, "Come closer and you will know that you aren't dreaming at all." That was Fili, coy and shy, beckoning the man with a crooked finger, body twisted in Bard's direction. The man doesn't miss a beat, moving forward in one fluid motion to pin the naked dwarf between himself and Thranduil, fingers immediately moving to work open the elf's tunic. "You, my love, are wearing far too many clothes."

"Nothing is stopping you from removing them, Bard." Thranduil lays back, his hands finding a place on Fili's hips, blunts nails biting into the soft skin beneath his fingertips. Fili wiggles from between the two larger forms after place a quick kiss to Thranduil's brow, "Where are you going, imp?" Fili wrinkles his nose at the nickname, "Nowhere, here and there. You'll see." He waves a hand aimlessly, draping himself over Bard's back, busying himself with pressing kisses to the skin of Bard's throat, fingers exploring the tanned skin he finds, mapping it out, commiting it to memory. This is good, he likes this. It feels so right to be here, in this moment, with these two men. 

"When you make love to me, will it hurt?" He voices the question that has plagued his mind since he first told Bard that he wished to give him his virtue. His mother and uncle had spoken of what it meant to lay with a woman, but never about laying with another man. He knows others have done it, Thorin included, dwarven woman are rare, and dwarven men have needs just as human men do. "It will hurt, yes, but it will only last so long. Pain gives way to pleasure." Bard speaks as he peels away the layers of Thranduil's robes, revealing miles and miles of pale skin. To Fili, it's almost as though Thranduil was carved from the whitest marble, fair and beautiful as the first snow of winter.

"I trust you, Bard. I know that you will not hurt me, and I trust you, Thranduil. I give myself to you both with all the love I can muster. This will be a special moment, and I shall cherish it for all my days."

"As you should, little one. Today is about you and you alone." Bard tilts his head to allow Fili better access to his throat, fingers moving across Thranduil's skin in a slow dance. The man pauses taking this moment to study the elf laid before him. How has he become so lucky? Since the loss of his wife he never thought he'd find anyone that he could love as much as he loved her, but then Fili came barrelling into his life, quite literally, with his mussed golden hair and twelve other dwarves with him, a prince among thieves and lords, and then Thranduil came into the picture astride an elk larger than life. Finally life has dealt him a better hand, finally, he can find something like happiness in his life. His children make him happy, of course they do, but Fili and Thranduil can provide him with the kind of love his children couldn't give him. The love of a partner, the pleasure of flesh on flesh, companionship in this lonely life he's led in the years since sickness took his beloved.

Thranduil raised on long fingered hand and cupped Bard's cheek, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone. "You're thinking too much, Bard, calm your mind." Bard leans into the touch instinctively, nuzzling the palm of his hand. "Forgive me, I allowed my mind to wander." Fili coos, nosing Bard's jaw insistently, arms curling around him to hug him close. "Do not be sad, not today, not ever. We have you now, okay? Remember you're loved, and you always will be." Bard shakes Fili off of him, turning quickly to catch him before he falls, cradling the dwarf against himself as he peppers kisses all over his face. "I love you, my precious little one, so much. My golden light in the darkness."

He lays Fili on the bed next to Thranduil, eyes roving over the smaller frame, dusted with pale golden hairs, thick in some places, sparse in others. Fili is beautiful like this, spread out across Bard's sheets, golden hair fanned out in stark contrast with the white of the sheets beneath him. "Beautiful." Fili blushes at the praise, looking up at Bard from under lowered lashes. "No, not beautiful." He whispers, teeth worrying his bottom lip. "Yes, never doubt how beautiful you are, little lion." He admonishes, hands spreading Fili's thighs gently. The dwarf nods by way of response, blush darkening when fingers begin to explore a place even he hadn't touched before, gentle as always, and not an unwelcome sensation. Bard draws little mewls from the dwarf as he works him open in preparation for what's to come, each little sound spurs him on and soon Fili is moaning and writhing, fingers catching and curling into the sheets. "P-Please," He manages a rasp, breath hitching in his throat, "More, Bard, I'm ready."

"Are you sure, little one? I do not wish to hurt you."

"I'm sure, I'm absolutely sure. I need you, please!" He is not below begging for what he wants until he gets it. He needs this more than he realized, this intimate connection between two lovers. Thranduil turns on his side to face Fili, leaning over to trail kisses down his jaw, one finger tracing circles against his skin. Bard pulls his hand back, leaning over to grab the oil once again, slicking himself up before he settles over the blond. "You must relax, Fili, tell me if it hurts and I'll stop." Fili nods, taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Go, do it." Bard presses in slowly, drawing a gasp from Fili at the intial stretch and burn, and bright, hot pain that follows as he enters him. He takes another deep breath, one hand pressed against Bard's chest to stop him. "I need a minute, please." He counts backwards in his head, willing himself to relax before he allows Bard to move again, pain giving way to pleasure, beautiful, brilliant pleasure that makes stars burst behind his eyes. Bard his gentle in his lovemaking, hands moving up and down Fili's sides, thrusts slow and sweet, aiming for that spot that will draw more of those sweet, musical moans from the little blond beneath him. It doesn't take long for him to find it, and before long Fili is arching off the sheets, hands clinging to Bard's shoulders, hips rolling to meet him thrust for thrust.

"Bard, please, I-I'm close." Fili wriggles, heat building in the pit of his stomach as he release approaches, he lets out a low moan followed by a cry of Bard's name, eyes squeezed shut, he can feel Thranduil's lips at his throat and long fingers wrapped around his weeping length, bringing him to completetion after a few strokes, another ragged cry, this time Thranduil's name, leaving the dwarf's throat. Bard's release comes after one final thrust, body slumping over Fili's, chest rising and falling rapidally as he fights to catch his breath.

"I love you." Fili whispers breathlessly, turning his head to catch Bard's lips in a sweet kiss. The man responds instantly, hands framing the dwarf's face. "I love you, too." His word are spoken between kisses, one of his hands leaving Fili's face to tangle with Thranduil's, squeezing his hand gently, tugging him closer to them. He breaks the kiss with Fili, turning to Thranduil, their lips finding each other's without a second of pause, their kiss just as soft and sweet as the ones they shared with their dwarf. Fili settles back against the pillows, content to watch them for now. His body aches in a good way, an entirely good way, and he loves every second of it. "Happy birthday to me." He grins, wriggling out from beneath them to crawl off the bed. "And where do you think you're going, little one?" Fili glances back at his lovers, a wide grin on his face. "I have a kingdom to run even if it is my birthday."

"I'm coming with you, Fili." Bard breaks away from Thranduil to climb off the bed grabbing his breeches off the floor. "You don't have to do that, Bard." Fili cleans himself up quickly before beginning to dress himself once more, thankful he'd thought to keep clothes for himself in Bard's house. "I will be fine, I promise you."

"What if he didn't leave? What if he means to hurt you again?"

"He wouldn't dare, not after my warning. I will exile him if he touches me, he won't risk exile, not even to prove a point to me. I am a child to him, a child with a crown on his head, but still a child all the same. He believes that knocking me around will frighten me, but he could never be more wrong. I will not be bullied by him." He settles on one of the chairs to lace up his boots with deft fingers. When he's finished he turns his eyes back on Bard. "Let me go alone, please. The two of you can come later, I need to do this by myself. I cannot seem as if I am hiding behind you, Bard, you or Thranduil. This is a delicate situation that I am in. Dain would be better suited for the role, and if I give them any reason to believe that I am incapable of ruling they will take it, and I will be cast aside. I cannot allow that to happen, I owe that much to Thorin. He gave his life so that our people can come home, he named me his heir, it is my duty to rule in his stead, no matter how heavy that accursed crown is."

Bard crosses the room and drops to one knee in front of Fili, hands on his shoulder. "I understand, little one, you owe me no explantions. I understand your situation completely. We both had these crowns forced upon us, but we mustn't falter, we have our people to think of now. There is no time for selfishness in our lives."

"It pleases me that you are both taking to your roles so well, I was in your place when my father died and left a crown behind. I know your pain quite keenly." They both looked back to Thranduil standing just behind them, wrapped in his outer robe. "Go, Fili, we will follow you in an hour's time. First, I need a bath." He crosses the room in a few strides and drops a kiss atop Fili's head. "Be safe, little king, I have a surprise for you later."

Fili has enough time to steal a kiss from Bard before he's shooed away by Thranduil. "Go, you don't want to be late."

"I'll see you later, I love you!" After that he's gone leaving Thranduil and Bard behind. 

"Thranduil, You said something about a bath?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ra - lion


End file.
